To me the most liberating Concept in the big book is that my troubles are of my own making. It was not fun to confront that but it was essential to free myself from my victim’s cloak. It taught me to keep my mouth shut and do nothing when something is none of my business. It taught me that I don’t always have to put my opinion out for the world’s benefit. As the other big book says, sufficient unto today are its own troubles. It reinforces my third step decision, that I am no longer in the business of management of my own life. Much less anyone elses. And guess what — my family life, my business life, my social life, all got a lot better without my micro management.
Another excellent comment from my friend, Richard.
Contrary to common sense, decency and moral absolutes, many of us addicts are taught in today's fallen world and disturbing cultural shifts to believe that accountability and admitting our wrongs promotes shame and low self-worth. New age self-help, pop psychology and hip (faux) spirituality teaches us that there is no such thing as healthy shame, that we are not to be punished or humbled, but rather coddled and “self-empowered” as it were. This is another way of saying that we are essentially victims and therefore absconded from ownership of our troubles as well as the effects of our narcissism. Today, we are given carte blanche to whine and complain. Today it is all about our feelings. Facts and reality be damned.
We are not addicts because of our genes, because our daddy or grandpa or the guy who came over on the Mayflower was an alcoholic. We are not alcoholics because of the bully in school or because we suffered from depression. We are not alcoholics because of "social injustice" and micro-aggressions that only exist only in our hypersensitive minds and only offend our precious little selves. We are not alcoholics because of our job, our town or some relationship we're in, or rather, some relationship we managed to cultivate and attract to ourselves. We are alcoholics because we mutated ourselves into alcoholics. Our lives are a mess because of the way we have chosen to perceive and respond to events. To see events as acting upon us as opposed to us causing or attracting the events to ourselves is a false belief.
“Existence precedes essence.” – Jean Paul Sartre
The truth is quite the opposite – that accountability, as Richard says, in fact liberates us. Taking ownership of our troubles frees us from the anxiety of having to fabricate reason after reason (excuse after excuse) for why we feel the way we do, why bad things happen to us and how our lives have manifested as they have up to this point. Assigning blame for every problem in our lives is a daunting task and requires the constant exertion of self-will. As well, it requires that we remain deluded and dishonest with ourselves, which simply propels us deeper into spiritual agony – anger, depression, fear, envy, jade, cynicism, self-hatred, projection, dependence, narrow-mindedness, ethnocentricity… and of course other forms of self-inflicted torture like the need to control, manipulate, judge, smear, emotionally blackmail, feign outrage, etc. etc.
Once the belief sets in that it is the outer world and others who are to blame for our troubles, the compulsion to continue blaming cripples us from moving forward, letting go, and allowing the world we create from cracking wide open. There is spirit, peace, power and endless opportunity found in accountability and honesty, yet there is nothing but brick walls, dead ends and misery to be found in blame, arrogance and narcissism.
Finally, once we become accountable for everything in our lives, we can forgive. We can forgive ourselves… and when we can forgive ourselves, we can forgive anyone. This is the miracle of accountability.
And this is precisely why the Big Book so wisely asserts and tries to smash into our proud and self-obsessed minds that “our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.” – Alcoholics Anonymous p.62
Thank God for the Big Book. Thank God for the Bible. Thank God for the Commandments. Being so scorned and hated simply reflects how important and true they are.
Today the Lord's name is spat on, despised and banned from public institutions of all kind. Today monuments that bear the ten commandments are toppled and removed because somebody somewhere was offended. Today we worship ourselves instead of God and our precious feelings instead of truth and reason.
Today it is demanded that we instead embrace atheism, adultery, pornography, (real) violence and death. Today we promote and defend adultery, the greatest injury to family bonds. Today we gleefully crush the skulls of our unborn and sell their body parts for profit.
Today the family unit itself is scorned. Today parents are freely cursed and their decisions and authority are defied at will. Today children are allowed to disown their parents if they do not cede to their every desire no matter how sick or deranged or spiritually destructive it may be.
Today we are taught the lie that it is righteous to covet what is not ours. Today we are told that theft and envy in the form of socialism are just and right, that it is greedy to want to keep what I've worked for but not greedy to covet what somebody else. Today we empower the state to rob Peter to pay Paul, to take from those who toil and earn with dignity and give it to themselves and to those who do not, to those who will vote for them on the promise of free stuff, which is not free.
Today our so-called journalists, reporters, politicians and the ranks of justice bask in corruption. They lie and bear false witness and we cheer.
Today the youth and the universities hate truth, free speech, academic and scientific inquiry. They hate God.
Today, our media puppets reach physical climax by any collective hatred of what is good and true and honest. They love death and chaos. They love to control us, tell us what to think, and strip us of our fundamental and God-given rights. Today good is considered evil and evil is considered good.
Today we are told to willingly accept the indoctrination that righteousness instead lies in the violation of the commandments. Today, we are told to whine and complain incessantly in a mad fit of rage. Today the media propaganda machines rile us up and create angry mobs by fabricating stories and the self-fulfilling prophecy of claiming racism and bigotry where none exists. Today, the trick is self-seeking, to look and scream like you actually care about people and the world, when the truth is you couldn't care less.
The truth is they want death and depopulation. They want to control and take and tax and censor. They want a one-party, communist dictatorship. They are takers and hate the makers. They want to destroy families and disarm the citizenry so we can no longer protect ourselves against those who would harm us. They want to destroy the only institutions left between us and them having absolute power. And if we strip the good, honest, hard-working people of their right to bear arms, the only ones left with arms are the criminals and the government. Sounds like George Orwell was looking into a crystal ball.
But hey, all in the name of progress, right?
Sorry, but anyone breaking into my home and attempting to hurt my children is going to have to contend with a loaded winchester spx. The day that is taken away from me is the day the devil wins. I am a father, and it is my job to defend them and raise them into decent men and women. It is not my job to raise them into the next generation of entitled snowflakes.