Wednesday, November 13, 2019
*This is an old draft I never published...
As we become increasingly inundated with wordly life and the reality of responsible adulthood, we begin to realize that addicts and self-help gurus alike who don't ever leave the cushy spiritual retreat centers are missing quite a few 'muscle' stones in their foundation. It's easy to be calm and at peace when all you do is hang out at an oceanfront retreat sweeping leaves and writing books on how messed up everybody is. It's easy to stay in the womb-like bubble of the treatment center with endless service opportunities at your fingertips to lift you up, all while worldly clamors are essentially absent. The bubble of isolation leads to idealism and false knowledge, and thus to a flimsy foundation. After a certain amount of time, remaining in retreat mode year after year can become a crutch. I am guilty of multiple crutches, too, so no need to get trigger-happy with the keyboard. Feel free, however, to bash away as I believe in free speech with every cell in my body, unlike the SJW/ PC tyrants of today.
Sunday, November 10, 2019
To be an alcoholic or a drug addict is not a complicated thing to understand, despite our efforts to complicate just about everything, especially something that seems so mind-boggling. But it's pretty simple. Junkies are entitled, blame everybody and everything else but themselves, and desire to maintain maximum comfort 24/7 with the least amount of effort possible and the least amount of gratitude possible, similar to a child or millenial (or liberal socialist). Of course, we're then faced with the unfortunate (or perhaps fortunate) reality that perpetual comfort is not real life. So if we can simply become willing to be uncomfortable, we can choose to give up the right we falsely believe we have to drink or use drugs. We can shed the ignorance of childhood and come to understand that life is uncomfortable at times and shouldn't preclude us from working hard and taking responsibility for ourselves. Recovery, therefore, whether from addiction or some adolescent ideology, simply revolves around growing up and the development of one's conscience.
Charlie, I've just recently started reading your blog, and I have to say, if this isn't one of the most important blogsites on the internet, I don't know what is!! I am so glad you have the freedom to take the gloves off here, and say things that have previously been unaddressed in 'recovery circles', and, for a variety of other unacceptable reasons, are left unresolved. I am committed to doing whatever it takes to invite those who need it most, to come and benefit from your powerful and compelling story, and your accompanying recovery dialogue.
Granted, this is pretty graphic and brutal stuff, but you know what? It's exactly what some of us need to escape the grasp of addiction. I don't think one of us ever thought about the consequences of our behaviors. If we did, it was never at this level. If this information doesn't shake us, rock our world, and motivate one so affected to change, or at least to seek out the resources for treatment, you might be dealing with something far deeper, like ASPD.
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
Will common sense ever begin to permeate the delusional status quo?
My incredible girlfriend often texts me various forms of inspiration to get me to write. One of her favorite sources is the addict's diary (which is, to put it lightly, brutal), as she has a plethora of asinine FB posts at her fingertips. I'm not sure if it's the poor quality of the writing, the infantile attention-seeking or the new-age idiocy, but regardless, I used to act like a loud, cocky, smug, liberal intellectual and it is not only a mental disorder but it is truly nauseating. Getting off on attention and self-seeking this way is exactly the sort of hubris that brings addicts down.
Anyway, she just sent me this post of a pic of one his followers holding a piece of cardboard that asks for Facebook “likes” and “shares” for “celebrating two years of continuous recovery.”
First of all, “Continuous recovery?” LOL. What other kind is there? This phrase is so stupid it hurts.
Thursday, October 31, 2019
*This is an older piece but I'm reposting it while I write a few new blogs on how dangerous it is to ignore the moral component of addiction and how the disease model has become a religion of degeneracy. I'm also trying to move away from full time real estate and construction so I can write a new book for parents and spouses about how us becoming addicts is not your fault whatsoever. There is nothing external that can be blamed for who we are and what we do. Any and all external "causes" of addiction are myths, including genetics and other ridiculous notions such as addiction being some evil entity that we caught in the air, or waking up one day and suddenly having a brain disease. We are not born addicts. We voluntarily turn ourselves into them. And there are no such things as "triggers." That one just makes me laugh. Any addicted person can recover permanently, become free and never again struggle so long as they remove their actual condition, which is insanity, which is achieved through total accountability and spiritual help. Therefore, relapse is NOT part of recovery. That is a marketing slogan designed by treatment centers and peddled by clueless addiction "specialists." Relapse, needless to say, has nothing to do with recovery. More to come...
Wednesday, October 30, 2019
Here is one by Kristie: "I disagree. I have seen many people turn to addiction especially uppers as a way to function when their depression is bad."
And another by her cheerleader, Erin: "Bullshit!!! Depression does INDEED cause addiction!!!!"
Finally, you have Kimberly, who is very concise, thoughtful and eloquent with her thoughts: "BULLSHIT"
Thursday, June 20, 2019
Wednesday, June 19, 2019
Tuesday, June 18, 2019
Had another standard discussion with an MD recently, and though we shared some common experience, our paths diverged on the nature of addiction and the dynamics of recovery. A very nice guy, by the way, so to be clear, our divergence was contained, I think, to medicine, God and addiction.
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
"The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less." - Socrates
"The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor." - Chinese proverb
If happiness lies in the ability to enjoy less, than being an addict is the precise opposite of such a condition. So when we get better, we develop the ability to enjoy less. The more we simplify, the greater the pleasure in simple things.
I used to need about five OC 80s, a bag of heroin, a pile of coke, two packs of butts, greasy food, sex, tv, and countless other distractions of the lowest possible quality just to feel moderately okay and make it through the day. That is pathetic. It is sin. I've been reading quite a bit of nonsense about how becoming an addict is beyond our control. Sure addiction is an illness or malady rather, but it is a self-created one. Acting like a needy, whiny victim is not an illness beyond our control. It is what we do to desperately maintain our addiction after we've turned ourselves into addicts.
When we get better, we begin to find pleasure in less. We lower the bar, but in a good way. After years of removing drugs and distraction and selfish behavior, we begin to enjoy simple pleasures we once took for granted, all those things we whined and moaned about in a fit of entitlement. Active addicts and alcoholics are like spoiled children, crying and screaming when we can't eat candy all day long.
Getting better is not just the process of growing up, but also one of removal and simplification. By removing things, we come to appreciate them more. Less becomes more. I personally find considerable pleasure from almost nothing: a glass of cold water, a hot shower, watching my son or daughter laugh or dance or play, lying down in bed after a long day, looking at the yard after landscaping or some floor after tiling or some bathroom or kitchen after renovating, completing some creative project, swimming in the ocean, closing my eyes and breathing, being still, playing tennis, working out, walking around on a warm, dry day and feeling the breeze on my face.
Earlier today, I sat down on an old beach chair while my son played with sand and a great calm washed over me. I can't explain it with any specificity or eloquence other than to say that I felt completely happy in that moment. Not a single thought or worry poisoned my mind. Not a shred of discontent could I find anywhere within. Sure it was only momentary, but I would never be able to bask in those simplest of things as an active addict. All addicts do is want, want, want and need, need, need. Nothing is ever enough. Not only is this a miserable way to move through life and navigate this world, but it also acts as a repellent to others. "Rather unbecoming" as my old man used to say with his jaw locked up good and tight.
To enjoy less, we must never stop getting better. Go write down all the ways you behave as an addict and the way you were as an addict, and do the exact opposite, everyday, for the rest of your life. Nobody's a saint, so all we have to do is our best. But that is how we get better... by acting like a normal person and developing the ability to enjoy less.
God, empty me out that I may bask in the simplest of things... teach me to simply be...
Sunday, February 10, 2019
Dear All, I said I'd post this several months ago, and then kids and work continued to empty me out so far as having any creative energy leftover. But no excuses. I'm back and will make it a priority to write as much as possible... needless to say, there is much to discuss. God bless you all.
The Privileged Addict, Copyright 2012
It was the middle of a moonlit night in the chapel up North. My body told me when I was finished meditating. I sat down for a few minutes. A feeling of certainty calmed me. I was ready. I knelt down on my knees and opened up the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous to page 76 and read the 7th Step prayer out loud.
“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.” Alcoholics Anonymous, 76.
As I finished reading the prayer, an unexplainable miracle occurred. The instant I was done, something rushed through my body. Something wonderful. I laughed and cried simultaneously. It was strange. Some force immediately took over my body and mind, controlling me for some time. Then a volcanic feeling of relief and rapture pervaded my entire being. I remember thinking, Holy shit. It worked! I felt it in every cell.
Friday, February 8, 2019
| Pot is a religion, a secular one of course, as opposed to a spiritual one, as there is nothing spiritual about ripping bong hits, eating pot gummy worms or claiming CBD oil makes you a more "spiritual" person or a better parent. When someone says they're "really spiritual," um, well, just run the other way. So if you are a parent or a spouse of a pothead, don't kid yourself. You have an addicted child on your hands, and trust me, he or she will be just as selfish and annoying as any other drug addict.|
Tuesday, September 18, 2018
If you have a kid who is stuck and behaving like a child or a spoiled brat, what do you do? You teach them, show them, and push them to grow up mentally, emotionally and socially - not just physically. If my 3-year old continues to whine about candy bars when he's a teenager with hair all over his body, let's face it, we gotta problem.
It is no different with an addict, and we can liken addicts to children who are refusing to grow up. You may think they're not capable of growing up, and perhaps some are not, but most of us are, so do not use the disease nonsense as an excuse for our childish and self-centered behavior or for our refusal to develop into mature adults and all that entails, such as taking care of oneself, working hard, reaching out to others, being available to our families, and taking responsibility for any habits we may have, especially when they've gotten out of hand.
Sunday, September 16, 2018
Why is this important to understand?
For one, if you understand the state of being recovered then you will see the great and tragic flaw in the mainstream view of addiction and treatment. You will see that it makes no sense whatsoever. You will see that the information being pumped about addiction is nonsense and that treatment is literally designed to keep addicts from truly recovering. You will see that the so-called intellectuals of today want you to believe that addicts are damaged beyond repair and so we should see them all as victims and then coddle them clinically with substitution drugs and therapeutically by validating all of their feelings, reasons and excuses as to why they use.
While it may seem on the surface that this new-age, progressive understanding of addiction is one of compassion, the truth is that it's quite the opposite. Mainstream treatment and its accompanying propaganda cripples addicts. It does not heal nor does it save. It validates the sick idea that addicts will always be diseased and damaged and subpar, and thus to expect much from them lacks compassion. To hell with personal responsibility and accountability. To hell with hard work and exceptionalism. To hell with freedom, success and launching oneself beyond the ash heap of mediocrity, beyond the average, beyond even the non-addict. To hell with literally conquering one's entire life and his or her surrounding world. To hell with dreams.
Monday, August 13, 2018
So below in italics is an older post, but it is sort of a follow-up to the previous one about addiction and the victim model. More specifically, if addicts are viewed (i.e. excused) as victims, then treatment becomes so watered-down as to be non-existent. There is a reason why nothing worldly has ever healed or changed an addict. There is also a financial reason not to help addicts. If we pump methadone, suboxone and tenderloin after a massage in the hot tub at the cushy tx center, I can all but guarantee your addict will be relapsing within a few months, if that. Wash, rinse, repeat. "Relapse is part of recovery" is part of the warped creed that turns the wheels of big business recovery.
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