Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Who Teaches Addicts if Sane People Don't?


     If you have a kid who is stuck and behaving like a child or a spoiled brat, what do you do? You teach them, show them, and push them to grow up mentally, emotionally and socially - not just physically. If my 3-year old continues to whine about candy bars when he's a teenager with hair all over his body, let's face it, we gotta problem.

     It is no different with an addict, and we can liken addicts to children who are refusing to grow up. You may think they're not capable of growing up, and perhaps some are not, but most of us are, so do not use the disease nonsense as an excuse for our childish and self-centered behavior or for our refusal to develop into mature adults and all that entails, such as taking care of oneself, working hard, reaching out to others, being available to our families, and taking responsibility for any habits we may have, especially when they've gotten out of hand.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Understanding What Being Recovered Means


     Why is this important to understand?

     For one, if you understand the state of being recovered then you will see the great and tragic flaw in the mainstream view of addiction and treatment. You will see that it makes no sense whatsoever. You will see that the information being pumped about addiction is nonsense and that treatment is literally designed to keep addicts from truly recovering. You will see that the so-called intellectuals of today want you to believe that addicts are damaged beyond repair and so we should see them all as victims and then coddle them clinically with substitution drugs and therapeutically by validating all of their feelings, reasons and excuses as to why they use.

     While it may seem on the surface that this new-age, progressive understanding of addiction is one of compassion, the truth is that it's quite the opposite. Mainstream treatment and its accompanying propaganda cripples addicts. It does not heal nor does it save. It validates the sick idea that addicts will always be diseased and damaged and subpar, and thus to expect much from them lacks compassion. To hell with personal responsibility and accountability. To hell with hard work and exceptionalism. To hell with freedom, success and launching oneself beyond the ash heap of mediocrity, beyond the average, beyond even the non-addict. To hell with literally conquering one's entire life and his or her surrounding world. To hell with dreams.

Monday, August 13, 2018

Why Service Works


     So below in italics is an older post, but it is sort of a follow-up to the previous one about addiction and the victim model. More specifically, if addicts are viewed (i.e. excused) as victims, then treatment becomes so watered-down as to be non-existent. There is a reason why nothing worldly has ever healed or changed an addict. There is also a financial reason not to help addicts. If we pump methadone, suboxone and tenderloin after a massage in the hot tub at the cushy tx center, I can all but guarantee your addict will be relapsing within a few months, if that. Wash, rinse, repeat. "Relapse is part of recovery" is part of the warped creed that turns the wheels of big business recovery.

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Addiction & The Nanny State

     It’s been a while, but a very dear and wonderful friend has encouraged me to continue writing and speaking, so here I am. To note, the summer is non-stop work-wise, so I should have more time to write as things slow down a bit during the colder months. Time is the central issue, especially with the children, and once the day is finally done, I often have nothing left, such as creative energy, aka fuel for inspiration.

     However, this should be part of daily life, like eating or sleeping, especially given the purpose behind it all, let alone the increasingly desperate need for truth and real solutions. It is so easy to become misinformed regarding addiction and recovery. So allow me to address a few memes that made their way across my email...


     The notion that no “child” ever wanted to become a drug addict or an alcoholic, that he or she was afflicted by an evil disease that forced them to use and steal and cheat and lie, is all, well, total bullshit.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Desperation Follow Up


     I should follow up that desperation is certainly no requirement to growing up and it will undoubtedly necessitate a prolonged period of selfishness, much to the dismay and heart-wrenching pain of our loved ones. Desperation is a last resort.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

The Gift of Desperation?


     So is desperation a gift? It certainly can be, depending on the individual.

     A good anecdote is a cocky teenager who drinks and gets high and is still having fun with it. Why would a clueless adolescent ingrate get better while he's out there having a blast and hasn't suffered any profound life consequences yet? They have no need nor any will to change because, let's be honest, they don't really have to yet. They are still in la-la land, and even when they have legal trouble, they usually get to walk right out. They haven't lost their families, their bodies, their minds, and they have no understanding of money and the world, so they don't feel the weight of survival and adult responsibilities. The twisted irony is that we don't want to stop until we can't stop - until we've completely lost control and no longer have the ability to stop.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Copyright Infringement

     I never really cared or bothered to check, but a few simple, targeted searches revealed my stuff plagiarized quite a bit. Entire pieces were copied and pasted with false attribution or none at all. I also found many quotes literally copied into another graphic with someone else's name at the bottom. LOL. While I guess it is somewhat flattering, it is also something I wouldn't dream of doing myself.

     Yes, this is at best a shabby attempt at community service and yes, all I really care about is that it's out there and useful to people, but how about we give it proper attribution? You don't even have to use my name - you can just say this is from The Privileged Addict or whatever.

     So if I may, all of my blog pieces, books and quotes are copyrighted. The Library of Congress is a real place and there can be real consequences. I certainly don't have the time or the will to pursue copyright infringement, and like I said, I don't particularly care all that much, but whoever you are really pissed off my kid. 😎

We will get you...

Friday, April 6, 2018

Blind Faith - Revised from 2012



     Blind faith is the key to getting better...

     Alcoholics and addicts are obstinate and tend to worship their own intellect, if you can call it that. We think we can get ourselves better if and when we choose, which is a fallacy. And no matter how smart we think we are, our minds have instead become narrow and limited. We demand to see results. We demand to know exactly what it is that will fix us before we even begin. We want to see it to believe it... but that may be the one thing standing in the way of getting better.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

When Dealing With a Narcissist... Don't Fight, Don't Engage, Forget about Analysis, Forget about the Past, Forget about Trying to Change Them... Just Move On

 
Comment:

Hi Charlie,

     I found you looking for answers. I have raised two children on my own due to the fact their mother is an addict with mental illness. She never was able to make it back to the sane world. My kids have grown up great do to my sacrifices. One 19 in college and one 25 who graduated. I have now found myself back after all these years dealing with an alcoholic for 4 years. The alcoholic high functioning and has co occurring illness. On paper she is the best catch a guy could want. She is aware of the issues but has strung me alone for years with getting help but never doing it. One or two meetings and being let go by therapists. I read your book and passed it on and it gave me hope that people can change. Most people say the addict will never change. I’m not much of a religious person but I am trying to be spiritual and open minded. I have faith and hope for people and I strive to be the best I can be everyday. That’s the message I send out to my loved ones. At least try and move forward. You are right time to grow up. I did. I have battled with the idea about the destruction and pure meanness an addict and whether the disease is driving or is the narcissism/sociopath driving the storm. My addict has cut me out of her life because I stopped enabling and wanted them to best healthy. It’s hard lesson to learn and painful but I reread your writing and can’t wait for more. It truly helps out here. Thanks for your dedication.

Derek

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Anybody Can Take Steps - Introduction



"Life beings at the end of our comfort zone." - Neale Donald Walsh

 


*
INTRODUCTION

    
     Anybody can take Steps, not just alcoholics and addicts. We are told to carry this message to others who suffer from addiction, but what about everybody else? Why hoard a process that can induce miracles? Shouldn’t everybody have access to these powerful and life-changing tools? Shouldn’t those we love feel the relief and serenity that we have procured for ourselves? 
     Letting go is a miracle. Once our basic needs are met, this is the secret to inner peace and happiness. If we can mentally/emotionally let go of all that is around us and inside of us, we can accept everything. We will have touched the great voice within and thus, the power of God. We can then touch the fabric of our universe and it is in this harmony that we continue to expand, know ourselves and give back. We’ll get more into letting go in Chapters 3 and 11, but to experience this inner evolution is something you do not want to miss.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

"Does Narcissism Go Away In Recovery?" Comment/Response



Comment:

     Hello Charlie. I truly love and admire your work, and so appreciate all of your efforts and dedication to yourself, your family and God (maybe not in that order...but you know what I mean ;))

     I have been reading your blog for a while, as I have been a member of alanon for a few years, but have struggled with this idea that alcoholism is a "disease" and that we should have "compassion and understanding" for they know not what they do. Huh? I'm sorry, but I don't believe that.
All that aside, my question is about alcoholism and narcissism. I understand you likely can't have one without the other, but do you feel, or have you witnessed perhaps in yourself and others, that once recovery is found narcissism is completely removed from them? Or do you believe it may already be a personality disorder, and the compulsion to use is because narcissists loathe themselves so much that they use it to self medicate?

     Just curious. Would love to hear your thoughts on this :)

     Thank you, Charlie.

     Be well and keep writing!

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Shame

    
     True knowledge is gained through the experiment of living life. I have gained some truth about myself and my life from the results of my experience, through the tools that I have acquired and been given, and through the actual consequences of my words, thoughts, and most importantly, my actions. I know what has failed me and what has brought me success. And I can reasonably assume that anyone who shares a similar experience may also experience similar results.

Why Bother With Anything?

Because it matters what we do.

Action or Grace?

  
Comment:

      This is a theological question! From reading your blog I sense you are a Christian?

      Well, most of my personal theology comes from what I learned in the the 12 Steps. I consider myself a Christian and so I have in the past few years taken to attending bible studies at both very liberal but also conservative churches. Trying to cover all bases in my research.

      So here's where I get tripped up. I keep running into the concept of predestination, or also referred to as Election. That it is to say that by grace alone that we are saved. Only some are chosen and actions seems to have little merit. However, from my 12 step readings I could never accept that view. Faith in action is all important!

     Where do you stand on this? Have you found a church where you feel that your 12 Step knowledge fits in with their teachings?

Suboxone = Product of the Nanny State


     There has been a recent uptick in the clamoring for subsidized Suboxone treatment. First let's properly interpret that:

     People who probably don't pay taxes (like addicts) or who are just misguided and for some reason love big government and spending other people's money and/or who also believe that we are victims of a disease that we inherited or suddenly caught in the air somehow, are demanding that even more money be involuntarily taken from others by the government and redistributed to addicts in the form of "free" Suboxone, even though virtually all Suboxone prescriptions are already subsidized by you, the American taxpayer - the few people still left working responsibly in the private sector and choosing not to get jammed out of their freaking minds on heroin, the few people who understand that more government spending solves nothing, the few people who understand that more opiates, let alone free opiates, solves nothing, the few people who understand that we shouldn't be subsidizing the effects of an addict's selfishness.

Who Teaches Addicts if Sane People Don't?

     If you have a kid who is stuck and behaving like a child or a spoiled brat, what do you do? You teach them, show them, and push them...