Monday, February 19, 2018

"Can the Brain Heal Itself From Prolonged Pot Use?"


Comment:

     Charlie, this is a really good post. Thank you for having the guts to say things as they really are. It's so refreshing to hear someone talk like this, with zero fear of being politically incorrect.

     I have a question for you, please and thank you: Do you think that if someone has smoked pot for a really long time (say 30 years), that is has done irreversible damage to their brain? Or can the brain heal itself from even that long a period of abuse? 

Saturday, February 17, 2018

"How Does One Get Through the Mental Obsession?"


Comment:

     This is really great stuff...but how does one get through the mental obsession? Is it best to just 'watch' the thoughts and recognize the addictive voice and let it pass? I would love to hear any solutions you have tried or know of...thanks.

Nothing Gets Done Without Action


"Action is the only truth." 
- Marcus Aurelius. 

     Who we are and what we become is not defined or solidified by personal philosophy, academic knowledge, words, thoughts and beliefs. Character is purely a function of what we do and the purpose behind what we do. For addicts, and I suppose everybody else as well, we are only so much as we act. We can talk a good game, we can recite glorious platitudes, we can muse and contemplate, we can attend speeches of new-age faux gurus, we can become a walking self-help book and go to endless therapy sessions, we can whine, rant and shout, we can absorb so-called knowledge or propaganda from some loony professor, we can feed the ego in a tangled myriad of vaporous ways... and guess what? 

     Not only will none of it change who you are, but none of it will define you. We can only define people by what they actually do. Action is the only truth because it is the only process that ignites and effects real change and molds us into something solid and consistent. Nothing can truly be accomplished without action. This is not only true with recovery but all of life. You cannot acquire a skill set without ever doing it, and doing it repeatedly. You cannot live a life of service if you never actually go serve and help others. You cannot undo addiction simply by learning about it or acquiring self-knowledge. Addiction must be manually extracted, if you will. In other words, if addiction is acquired by way of a series of selfish actions, there is no ridding oneself of it without a series of selfless actions.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

"My Son's Therapist Told Him He Shouldn't Be Working" Seriously? Does He Need A Blanky, Too?


Comment:

     I remember when my son's therapist at his first rehab told me that he should not be working and he needed to focus totally on his recovery. My response was, well that would be nice, but it's not an option, I cannot afford to support an adult child. My son even disagreed with the counselor telling him that idle time was his worst enemy. So many people I know with addicted adult children bear the financial burden of taking care of them for years...... I just don't see how staying home, sleeping late and doing NOTHING all day helps them recover. Then there are the 90 day rehabs then onto a sober living home for a year or more. I could not do that for my son, I did not have the financial means. Maybe I am crazy but I wanted him working. When crises happen in my life and there is addict drama and I am having a meltdown it isn't an option to leave my job to "recover".

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Recovery = Dealing With Your Shit

"Escaping consequence is no privilege or blessing."

"Sorry Mom, sorry Dad, I have a disease!"

     The above caption is just one of an infinite number of excuses, none of which, like so-called "triggers," have anything to do with reality. Asserting that your "disease" made you steal your grandmother's Oxycontin is the same thing as saying a cardboard box triggered you to go drink. See "Excuses of an Addict" for a good laugh.

     That said, to go from a physically sober nightmare to a recovered person, the addict must, to put it lightly, deal with their shit. The physically sober addict is not only a child, but is also a ticking time bomb. He or she is filled to the brim with emotional and spiritual poison, having racked up a lifetime of resentment, fear and sexual misconduct. As well, patterns and behaviors such as dishonesty, manipulation and selfishness that destroy relationships and tear hearts apart have essentially become hard-wired in the addict or alcoholic.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Relapse Is NOT Part of Recovery


     The cliche' goes, "Relapse is part of recovery."

     This sort of waiting room wisdom is exactly the kind of nonsense I had to toss out of the window in order to recover from addiction. Adopting this type of attitude, accepting relapse, and letting yourself off the hook is a recipe for death. One obvious reason why such a platitude is so harmful is because addicts LOVE this slogan. Dead giveaway. They love knowing that relapse is part of their recovery, that they can always get jammed if need be. Ridiculous. What a deranged avenue for addicts to rationalize using.

Being a Drug Addict Has Nothing to Do with Morals? Hahaha

 Right, and I have a bridge I'd like to sell you in California. 



Comment:

     charlie i agree with you. it has been my experience in watching my son for the last 10 years. it's sad but true. but read this piece of literature that is read at ea[ch] and every Families Anonymous program. I love the program and it has saved my sanity but they clearly state that drug abuse is not a moral issue.

Friday, February 9, 2018

We Are Not Victims


     Being an addict is not an excuse to continue being an addict. Despite the insufferable "fight the stigma" PC nonsense you hear 24/7, we are not victims. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anybody that addicts turn themselves into addicts and NOTHING is to blame for that but ourselves. More than anything, our parents and those who love us, of course, as well as our genes, have zero culpability in us drinking or using drugs to the point of addiction, and then maintaining our addiction year after year. I have a question for the victim peddlers...

     What exactly are we victims of? Addiction? What, did addiction just fly through the air and infect us? Is addiction some intangible evil force that chose to possess us? Uh, no. Did we not ourselves drink and use drugs over and over and over and over again until we literally broke our bodies and minds and souls? Yup.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Move Slowly, But Do Not Recovery Slowly (Edited)


      Guess what happens when I speed up, rush around, multi-task, or simply fail to stop throughout the day to breathe and remove the endless distractions, both internal or external? It doesn't take long before I succumb to frustration, angst and misery. I lose my peace, my serenity, and whatever joy I may have felt upon waking up. Not being fully present and deliberate in both mind and body is a torturous way to move through life. Same with living in the past or the future, neither of which exist.

Monday, February 5, 2018

Recovery Is Not a Theory (Edited)


Read this.

    Everything I know about how I became recovered from drug and alcohol addiction - as well as depression, mania, fear, anxiety, boredom, angst and so forth - boils down to this:


     Nothing happens without ACTION.

     You can learn everything humanly possible about addiction and it won't change you at all. You can discover every psychological insight about yourself and again, it won't change anything. You can be loved by others and it won't change anything. You can get the best treatment and all the latest and greatest cutting edge meds and it won't change anything. You can go on methadone or suboxone and it won't change anything. There is no knowledge, no belief, no relationship, no group, no meeting, no doctor, no shrink, no pill and no science project that can turn an active addict into a recovered addict. Only the addict himself can change, with the help of God. He or she must actually get up off of the couch and work hard. Laziness breeds cowardice and cowardice breeds addiction and failure and death. The AA slogan "Just sit down, shut up, and wait for a miracle to happen" is truly one of the most asinine, let alone lethal, of them all.

How to Cripple an Addict (Edited)


"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." -Neale Donald Walsch

     There is a solution... it's just that most addicts don't want to do any work, and there is no solution without work. Sadly, as a society, we are becoming programmed to reward and even glorify failure and dependency while demonizing hard work, success, independence and free thought/speech.

*  

      When you ply an addict with more drugs, when you validate an addict in therapy, and when you subsidize an addict with government programs (aka the money you work so hard for), you are essentially telling them that they are too weak, sick and stupid to truly get better and recover, and to make things worse, you are doing it under the guise of compassion, under the guise of science and the disease model.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

"We Live In a Fallen World, It Can't Be Done Alone..."




Comment:

     If you don't mind some feedback... the self care you describe involves you alone. But I'm not sure that's enough to fill up the tank, so to speak. Not sure if you are Christian, but if you are I suggest you get involved in a bible study group or other church group. We live in a fallen world, the church is the body of Christ where we can renew ourselves and each other. It really can't be done well alone. Growing in Christ is at times a perilous journey. Picture a Thomsons Gazelle wandering the Serengeti alone. Can you also picture predator eyes tracking every movement of that gazelle. Those of us on the spiritual journey, very much need each other. 

Why Is AA Taking God Out of the Program?


Comment:

     I learned about the higher power many years ago in AA when it still had an emphasis on that. Now, at some meetings, I find books and literature have been re-written to remove "monotheistic" references to God because it offends people. I wonder if this is why there is such a high rate of addictions now. If you take God out of the program, and substitute it with your own trendy politics you offer nothing to the sick, suffering, and dyeing. I'm sorry to see this state of affairs. I'm grieved by it.

  

Response:

     Welcome to the progressive utopia of "everything is offensive" and "everyone is a victim," except those who disagree, of course. They can go to hell. It's okay to offend and victimize them. Welcome to the childish, deranged, idiotic world where words have now become acts of violence and college snowflakes are actually taught that "micro-aggressions" exist and they should not say anything to anybody lest someone might be offended. Welcome to the world where it is only okay to think ONE WAY, their way, and if you don't, you are a fascist bigot. Welcome to the world where an NYU professor critical of political correctness was just removed and charged as mentally ill and satanic by the dean and a campus "inclusion" group that promotes tolerance for not thinking the right way, for the "structure" of his thinking. Oh the irony. Tolerance? Progressives are perhaps the most intolerant people in the entire world. Beware the denial of moral absolutes and God in place of moral relativity and other degenerate ideologies.

"Does Pot Have a Similar Effect on Emotions as Alcohol?"

Comment:

     Yes, I have found as a spouse of an addict that self-care is absolutely crucial to survival. You are so right that is is not selfish, but actually necessary to be able to have something to give to others.

      Out of curiosity, do you think that pot has a similar effect on the emotions as alcohol, or are the two different?

Response:

     Yes, Charlotte, 1000%. They are somewhat different chemically but act on the same dopaminergic "reward" system of the brain. I get this alot, that smoking pot is all good dude. I get it even from parents and spouses, who want to convince themselves that their child or spouse is okay because they're just smoking pot now and it's not addictive. They say even doctors have told them it's totally  fine to puff down yo. Such wisdom and duty to the Hippocratic oath.

Friday, December 29, 2017

The Effects of Alcohol & Self-Neglect on the Non-Addict (Edited)


     Had an interesting conversation with a good friend a while back. One of things we discussed was the effect of alcohol in a general sense, addict or not, and beyond the physical.

     Alcohol, like drugs, can have a surprisingly profound effect on an individual, though it may appear subtle to the outsider. For one, it mutes the natural surfacing of deeper thoughts and feelings, but this emotional energy must be channeled somewhere, which is why alcohol use begins to amplify our emotions in both directions. Alcohol use can eventually cause greater extremes in our emotions, whether up or down, so an otherwise balanced person may begin to experience stronger feelings, thoughts or energies in both directions – mania on one extreme and depression on the other, let alone indifference and apathy.

Thursday, December 28, 2017

There’s No Point to Treatment if We Fail to Begin Loving God More Than Drugs (Edited)


     I once loved drugs and alcohol with all my heart. The idea that we addicts somehow don’t want to be addicts and never wanted to be enslaved by some drug is a myth. Sure, perhaps deep down somewhere we want to truly be free but have instead chosen the easy "solution" and false freedom of drugs because we are cowards... but you have to understand that addicts love drugs like a soul mate (and btw "soul mates" don't exist except in absurd Hollywood movies). That’s why we’re addicts.

     We’re not addicts because whoops, we woke up one day and became addicts, or whoops, we wimped out and took a Vicodin for some minor procedure and now we can’t stop. We don’t want to stop. We loved taking the Vicodin. We love anything and everything that gets us high, changes the way we feel, triggers the release of dopamine in our reward system and saturates our CNS with pleasure, thus preserving our comfort zone. Short of shedding the mortal coil and floating off into lala land, free from the predicament of existing in a human body, drugs and alcohol (like power) serve as the great deception and false solution of both internal and external freedom and peace. We believe the drugs are washing us with some holy elixir, though nothing could be further from the truth.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

"You Won't Like What You Get if I Quit"


Comment:

     "Thank you for your wonderful words. I appreciate your continued success.
My spouse has quit drinking , had a slip up during his sobriety. He quit by non traditional methods . My question. Do addicts say things like, "you won't like what you get if I quit "? Why do they say this?"

Monday, October 2, 2017

Comments & Responses


Comment from Addicts Who Don't Get Better Don't Really Want to Change:

"Hi Charlie, I just wanted to say thank you. I just finished reading your book and you gave me freedom. I’m the mother of a alcoholic who has not learned. 4 times he has drank his way to the hospital with doctors saying he should not have lived and countless times he has thrown his life away only to be rewarded by my mother, his grandmother who gives him whatever he feels he needs at the momemt. I on the other hand have fought both enablers for 13 years and felt I was alone in my disgust with addicts and alcoholics till I read your book. So thank you for giving me my life back, back from not feeling bad to enjoy my life, my sunsets and my achievements and not to feel guilty that my son doesn’t want to do the same. I pray for him every day and that is the best thing I can do. But he needs to do the work, not me. Thank you"

Friday, March 10, 2017

Real World Experience Is Everything


     Haha, look at this one!

     "You need to stop the blame game, Charlie. Addiction is a disease, and is largely genetic. How you got any award at all for spewing forth this bullshit is beyond me. There are problem drinkers, and about 10% of those are real addicts. If experience tells me anything, it's that you LOVE being the know-it-all about something you only know from one tiny side. You are the reason people don't seek treatment. You are the reason people ignore all the science that says the polar opposite. You are who the Surgeon General was addressing in his statement about addiction. Grow up. Stop capitalizing on the ignorance of others, and pick up a damned book." - by Unknown.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Willingness to Be Uncomfortable Sometimes = Drug Problem Gone


     To be an alcoholic or a drug addict is not a complicated thing to understand, despite our efforts to complicate just about everything, especially something that seems so mind-boggling. But it's pretty simple. Junkies want to maintain maximum comfort 24/7, similar to a child. Of course, we're then faced with the unfortunate (or perhaps fortunate) reality that perpetual comfort is not life. If we can simply become willing to be uncomfortable, we can choose to give up the right we falsely believe we have to drink or use drugs. We can shed the ignorance of childhood and come to understand that life is uncomfortable at times and shouldn't preclude us from working hard and taking responsibility for ourselves. Recovery, therefore, simply revolves around growing up and the development of one's conscience.