Alcohol use disorder/ substance use disorder/ severe depression are not caused by selfishness of self-centeredness. Those theories are rooted in old moralizing tales of how to treat addiction and illness in general. Unfortunately many of us are not only used to the stigma but we self stigmatize and start to believe things like that. It’s simply not true. Yea can working on humility help a person thrive/ live a more balanced life? Sure. Are we, as people who struggle with mental health problems and substance use issues, inherently selfish and immoral. Fuck no.
Monday, March 2, 2020
Wednesday, January 29, 2020
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Many who contemplate this process or embark on the Twelve Steps take issue with this particular Step. One, they don’t believe in God or Divine Intelligence. Two, even if they do believe in something greater than themselves, how do they know it will restore them when they don’t yet feel restored? Admittedly, it’s difficult for us to believe something unless it has already happened. People collectively believed that man would never fly and the next day Orville Wright flew over the beach at Kitty Hawk. To make matters worse, we don’t like believing things that we can’t see, hear or touch right in front of us. Show me it works, and then I’ll believe. Third, we’re not so sure that we really need to be restored to sanity. Just because we are powerless, does that mean we are actually insane? Isn’t insane someone in a nightgown and hospital slippers, locked up in an asylum getting shock treatments twice a week?
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
There is so much truth here. I hear people at my meetings excusing their adult children's behavior because they have a disease. For example someone said to a newcomer that their addict will steal from them etc., but that he knew his child only did that because of his disease. Okay, I've been stolen from and I didn't take that position, I was OUTRAGED about it, I'm sorry there is still a CHOICE not to do the wrong thing. My son once shared with me that he was taking a drug friend to a pawn shop as his friend wanted to hock some jewelry he stole from his parents. My son told me he knew the jewelry looked really expensive and he said to the kid are you really sure you want to do this, that looks really valuable. Okay, so if they had no conscious, that thought would never even had occurred to my son. I agree that the pendelum has swung way to far in the direction of the addicts not taking any responibility for their actions. I'm all for supporting my son in his efforts towards sobriety but I refuse to excuse some of the things he has done because "his disease made him do it."
Monday, December 2, 2019
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Sounds great, but how exactly do I turn myself over to God? What does that even mean? For now, let us consider this Step to be a vow – a promise to ourselves, to others and to our Higher Power to grow along spiritual lines and to repel anything that prevents us from doing so. On a practical level, we are vowing to cultivate and expand our conscience, and then never to ignore it. As well, we are not going to consciously erect any walls between us and our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.
To me the most liberating Concept in the big book is that my troubles are of my own making. It was not fun to confront that but it was essential to free myself from my victim’s cloak. It taught me to keep my mouth shut and do nothing when something is none of my business. It taught me that I don’t always have to put my opinion out for the world’s benefit. As the other big book says, sufficient unto today are its own troubles. It reinforces my third step decision, that I am no longer in the business of management of my own life. Much less anyone elses. And guess what — my family life, my business life, my social life, all got a lot better without my micro management.
Wednesday, November 20, 2019
Above are memes that a buddy of mine posted on FB and they reflect the complete idiocy of states run by the left, including my home state of Massachusetts, which increasingly loses its mind as it continues to be run/ruined by political whores and thieves. They also reflect the fact that we now have to create humorous memes to get the truth out there since all the media puppets do now is lie and spread propaganda. Sad that our ceaseless decline into a culture of depravity has even infected something as serious as addiction. If there is one group that absolutely must take responsibility for their behavior, it is drug addicts and alcoholics. For one, there is no hope of recovery if they do not. Second, the ignorant notion that we are blameless victims reflects the same sick frame of mind that both perpetuates our mental/spiritual sickness as well as prevents us from becoming sane again. In order to validate the whole "I have a disease and it is not a choice and I did not choose to relapse and I was triggered by this or that and blah, blah, blah..." bullshit, we must at the same time remove any moral component. If nothing is our fault, then there is nothing immoral about it. As well, since I can simply justify and rationalize my continuous misery and relapse with the progressive disease model, I never have to get better. How convenient.
Friday, November 15, 2019
Yes, I have found as a spouse of an addict that self-care is absolutely crucial to survival. You are so right that is is not selfish, but actually necessary to be able to have something to give to others.
Out of curiosity, do you think that pot has a similar effect on the emotions as alcohol, or are the two different?
They are different chemically but act on the same reward system of the brain and as such, have a similar effect. I get this all the time, that smoking pot is totally fine. I even get it from parents who want to convince themselves that their child is okay because they're just smoking pot now and it's not addictive.
By the way, I have a friend on just about every entitlement there is, and she often lashes out and complains about wait times and not getting checks and what assholes they are. Lol, wow. You see, this is the problem with career entitlements and socialism - you become entitled. When you should have gratitude the most, you have none. Why? Because you are just existing. If you're getting free help (free meaning taken from someone else), at the very least you should be thankful. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day and then comes back tomorrow expecting more, having done nothing to advance himself as his spirit, self-esteem and self-respect decays. Teach a man to fish and he eats for the rest of his life with dignity. He can also teach others to fish. He has a purpose.
Here is a good anecdote I read on Martin Armstrong's blog about the difference between capitalism and socialism:
"Martin, A story I received: A guy looked at my Porsche the other day and said I wonder how many people could have been fed for the money that sports car cost! [ugh, people like this are insufferable] I replied I am not sure, it fed a lot of families in Bowling Green, Kentucky who built it, it fed the people who make the tires, it fed the people who made the components that went into it, it fed the people in the copper mine who mined the copper for the wires, it fed people in Decatur IL, at Caterpillar who make the trucks that haul the copper ore. It fed the trucking people who hauled it from the plant to the dealer and fed the people working at the dealership and their families. BUT,… I have to admit, I guess I really don’t know how many people it fed."
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
*This is an old draft I never published...
As we become increasingly inundated with wordly life and the reality of responsible adulthood, we begin to realize that addicts and self-help gurus alike who don't ever leave the cushy spiritual retreat centers are missing quite a few 'muscle' stones in their foundation. It's easy to be calm and at peace when all you do is hang out at an oceanfront retreat sweeping leaves and writing books on how messed up everybody is. It's easy to stay in the womb-like bubble of the treatment center with endless service opportunities at your fingertips to lift you up, all while worldly clamors are essentially absent. The bubble of isolation leads to idealism and false knowledge, and thus to a flimsy foundation. After a certain amount of time, remaining in retreat mode year after year can become a crutch. I am guilty of multiple crutches, too, so no need to get trigger-happy with the keyboard. Feel free, however, to bash away as I believe in free speech with every cell in my body, unlike the SJW/ PC tyrants of today.
Sunday, November 10, 2019
To be an alcoholic or a drug addict is not a complicated thing to understand, despite our efforts to complicate just about everything, especially something that seems so mind-boggling. But it's pretty simple. Junkies are entitled, blame everybody and everything else but themselves, and desire to maintain maximum comfort 24/7 with the least amount of effort possible and the least amount of gratitude possible, similar to a child or millenial (or liberal socialist). Of course, we're then faced with the unfortunate (or perhaps fortunate) reality that perpetual comfort is not real life. So if we can simply become willing to be uncomfortable, we can choose to give up the right we falsely believe we have to drink or use drugs. We can shed the ignorance of childhood and come to understand that life is uncomfortable at times and shouldn't preclude us from working hard and taking responsibility for ourselves. Recovery, therefore, whether from addiction or some adolescent ideology, simply revolves around growing up and the development of one's conscience.
Charlie, I've just recently started reading your blog, and I have to say, if this isn't one of the most important blogsites on the internet, I don't know what is!! I am so glad you have the freedom to take the gloves off here, and say things that have previously been unaddressed in 'recovery circles', and, for a variety of other unacceptable reasons, are left unresolved. I am committed to doing whatever it takes to invite those who need it most, to come and benefit from your powerful and compelling story, and your accompanying recovery dialogue.
Granted, this is pretty graphic and brutal stuff, but you know what? It's exactly what some of us need to escape the grasp of addiction. I don't think one of us ever thought about the consequences of our behaviors. If we did, it was never at this level. If this information doesn't shake us, rock our world, and motivate one so affected to change, or at least to seek out the resources for treatment, you might be dealing with something far deeper, like ASPD.
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
Will common sense ever begin to permeate the delusional status quo?
My incredible girlfriend often texts me various forms of inspiration to get me to write. One of her favorite sources is the addict's diary (which is, to put it lightly, brutal), as she has a plethora of asinine FB posts at her fingertips. I'm not sure if it's the poor quality of the writing, the infantile attention-seeking or the new-age idiocy, but regardless, I used to act like a loud, cocky, smug, liberal intellectual and it is not only a mental disorder but it is truly nauseating. Getting off on attention and self-seeking this way is exactly the sort of hubris that brings addicts down.
Anyway, she just sent me this post of a pic of one his followers holding a piece of cardboard that asks for Facebook “likes” and “shares” for “celebrating two years of continuous recovery.”
First of all, “Continuous recovery?” LOL. What other kind is there? This phrase is so stupid it hurts.
Thursday, October 31, 2019
*This is an older piece but I'm reposting it while I write a few new blogs on how dangerous it is to ignore the moral component of addiction and how the disease model has become a religion of degeneracy. I'm also trying to move away from full time real estate and construction so I can write a new book for parents and spouses about how us becoming addicts is not your fault whatsoever. There is nothing external that can be blamed for who we are and what we do. Any and all external "causes" of addiction are myths, including genetics and other ridiculous notions such as addiction being some evil entity that we caught in the air, or waking up one day and suddenly having a brain disease. We are not born addicts. We voluntarily turn ourselves into them. And there are no such things as "triggers." That one just makes me laugh. Any addicted person can recover permanently, become free and never again struggle so long as they remove their actual condition, which is insanity, which is achieved through total accountability and spiritual help. Therefore, relapse is NOT part of recovery. That is a marketing slogan designed by treatment centers and peddled by clueless addiction "specialists." Relapse, needless to say, has nothing to do with recovery. More to come...
Wednesday, October 30, 2019
Here is one by Kristie: "I disagree. I have seen many people turn to addiction especially uppers as a way to function when their depression is bad."
And another by her cheerleader, Erin: "Bullshit!!! Depression does INDEED cause addiction!!!!"
Finally, you have Kimberly, who is very concise, thoughtful and eloquent with her thoughts: "BULLSHIT"
Thursday, June 20, 2019
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