Hi Charlie, I'm the anon at the top of the comments. I laugh when I read my comment now. 3 days out of detox he relapsed. He stole $20 out of my wallet and shot up. He confessed that night and according to him all the AA people are super proud of him for confessing so fast. What they don't know is the 8 prior years of this revolving door of relapse/recovery. actually i don't think it should even be called a relapse if there is no significant clean time involved. So here I am tonight...weary to say the least. He is going to one or 2 meetings a day and pretty much "taking it easy" (his words) in between. He's tired although he hasn't worked in months. I'm on the brink of insanity and yet....I still find it hard to let go.
Thanks again for sharing/reaching out and for your honesty. I would've been the one guy in the AA meeting who wasn't congratulating him, although I don't exactly have a history of congratulating addicts for getting better. This is why I write this blog, because of the ever-expanding cavern between the two programs of AA that exist today - the bullshit version and the real one.
As is so painfully evident, physical sobriety isn't a solution, just as detox isn't treatment but a mere clinical procedure that contains 0% treatment or recovery. If we don't go from detox to treatment, we are walking straight back to nowhere, i.e. failure, i.e relapse. Sorry to hear about this... and I totally agree with you about your assessment of what constitutes clean time/relapse.
I usually look at sponsees who relapse and calmly say something like, "Well, it's obvious that you don't want to change. Call me when you're ready to get better and I'll drive you to treatment and then from there to sober living for like two years. Otherwise, don't call me." I know letting go is brutal and I don't claim to have the strength to do so myself, but I will continue to repeat myself by saying that there is nobody more full of shit than an addict, except maybe a politician or a central banker.