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Showing posts from December, 2015

Is Addiction A Social Disease?

Recovery = Dealing with Your Shit

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"Escaping consequence is no privilege or blessing."

     To go from a physically sober nightmare to a recovered person, an addict must absolutely deal with their shit and give back a bit, or perhaps alot. The last ten years have necessarily been non-stop WORK. It was imperative that I try to repair relationships and broken hearts, get out of debt, finish school, work my ass off, take other addicts through the Big Book, run groups, write, educate, etc.

     Recovery = Dealing with my shit.
     Trust me, the worst thing you could possibly tell an addict is that his addiction has nothing to do with the selfishness ingrained in his personality or his willingness to do the wrong thing to others (and subsequent indifference). This MUST be considered a real part of the problem. 
     If all we do is tell addicts they have an innate, involuntary disease and that all associated behaviors are but symptoms, they will happily excuse themselves of any and all accountability when …

Your Reality vs the Addict's Reality

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     Making an addict feel happy and normal via pharmaceutical intervention is not actually what they need... at all. In fact, it is detrimental to their long-term recovery. Why? Well, for one, it is absolutely crucial for an addict to understand that the reality of human life includes suffering and discomfort, that his or her pain, boredom and dissatisfaction is not unique, and that he or she sits next to 7 billion of the same human beings. 
     The truth is that addicts (and others who have lost power) often suffer from a lack of purpose, which is more of a spiritual malady, to say the least. Sure it may manifest into some bio-chemical rearrangement, but that is just a symptom, as opposed to the underlying cause, and which would you rather treat, the symptom or the actual cause? As well, the happiness and normalcy may not even be real. You can decide for yourself if that makes any sense, but if you're a non-addict, remember that a solution that may make sense for you does not n…

Shame

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SHAME September 10th, 2014
     True knowledge is gained through the experiment of living life. I have gained truth about myself and my life from the results of my experience, through the tools that I have acquired and been given, and through the actual consequences of my words, thoughts, and most importantly, my actions. I know what has failed me and what has brought me success. And I can reasonably assume that anyone who shares a similar experience may also experience similar results.

     This is precisely why the Big Book prophetically states that you can rely on anything a [recovered] alcoholic may say about himself. A recovered addict who has gained clarity and success knows himself completely. The reason my experience makes so much sense to me is because I understand who I am, and the more we understand ourselves, the more we understand everything. As I've suggested before, I don't think we are really that complicated. We are essentially just human creatures…

Come to Believe...

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* STEP 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

"Many who contemplate this process or embark on the Twelve Steps take issue with this particular Step. One, they don’t believe in God or Divine Intelligence. Two, even if they do believe in something greater than themselves, how do they know it will restore them when they don’t yet feel restored? Admittedly, it’s difficult for us to believe something unless it has already happened. People collectively believed that man would never fly and the next day Orville Wright flew over the beach at Kitty Hawk. To make matters worse, we don’t like believing things that we can’t see, hear or touch right in front of us. Show me it works, and then I’ll believe. Third, we’re not so sure that we really need to be restored to sanity. Just because we are powerless, does that mean we are actually insane? Isn’t insane someone in a nightgown and hospital slippers, locked up in an asylum getting shock treatments twic…

You Can't Stop Fate

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YOU CAN'T STOP FATE * It is an illusion to think we can actually change the long term trajectory of anything outside of ourselves...  

     I've definitely changed my tune over the years.

     As much as I'd like to think recovery and God can be beaten into others, it cannot. I try to offer what I can and educate through experience, but I cannot actually change anyone. Nobody has ever recovered because of me, nor will they. If you recovered because I helped you, the truth is that you would have recovered anyway. The truth is that you were looking for it and someone just happened to be there to lay the solution at your feet. If not me, it would've been someone else. You were simply meant to recover.

     The best you can do is pray and take care of yourself. Just like we must give our own lives over to God, we must also give our loved ones and even our children over to God as well. Even if you try to hold on, it is pointless, for they belong to God anywa…

Amends to Creditors

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All amends are weighted equally, so don't make the mistake of valuing some over others. All must be made. If we fail to make amends to our creditors, surely we will relapse.


"Bear in mind, if you owe someone money, don’t go empty-handed. I once had a sponsee who went to make a financial amends with no money to pay the person back. You don’t want to do that. Wait until you have it all, or at least a good portion of it. Think about it. Sure the person you owe will be glad you showed up to admit your wrong, but I’m pretty sure what they really want is their money back. Same goes for a store or creditor. Greater than the satisfaction of witnessing our moral turnaround is the closure of getting paid back. So do not go make amends to a creditor unless you are 100% willing and able to pay them back or commit to a payment plan." -Anybody Can Take Steps

Why Bother with Anything?

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Because it matters what we do.
     I used to wonder about this quite a bit, trying to determine if there is a point to anything I do when my existence is but a tiny flash in the scope of the entire Universe, a mere vapor that appears momentarily and then vanishes. I felt as though I am so small as to be inconsequential and essentially meaningless. In space-time, as it were, we are basically nothing, almost immeasurable.

     Then, as I gradually grew up and out of my addict mind and addict self, I suddenly realized how stupid I was. Everything that exists can be broken down into the same stuff. Therefore, our existence is determined not simply by God's spiritual intelligence but by each and every thought, word and action of ours. We are literally shaping our reality, our world, and most importantly, the world we leave behind.