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Showing posts from April, 2015

The Point of All This

When I read my inventory and prayed ten years ago, something unbelievable happened. As a flow of Power rushed through me, all of the darkness suddenly washed away.

     That is why I became driven to share my experience, write the book and start the blog. Having failed with many local sponsees and unable to reach enough addicts and alcoholics, I needed a platform - a way to reveal this solution for what it really is.

     I just wanted addicts out there to know how truly amazing it is to be okay. When you can simply exist and be at peace without all sorts of distraction, there is nothing better.

     All we really need is something to do, some healthy kind of work, some purpose. When you find something to do that nourishes you and fills you up, you can sit down afterwards and feel both calm and lifted up at the same time.

     To be able to simply live, without substance or distraction, is really the best thing in the world. That's what we're seeking anyway, isn't it…

Sobriety Chips/Trophies? You Gotta Be Kidding Me...

I don't get it, why do we reward ourselves with recognition, applause and sobriety chips just because we stopped lying, robbing, and breaking the hearts of those who love us?

    Awarding sobriety chips has become a mainstream part of AA despite symbolizing the antithesis of the essence of the Twelves Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and the frame of mind we are to cultivate.

     Please, someone help me understand this because I have no clue why this is acceptable, or at least what this has to do with Alcoholics Anonymous.

     Not only do we addicts and alcoholics not deserve a de facto trophy just for staying sober, for not inflicting 24/7 pain to our loved ones, and for not continuing to be pathologically self-absorbed, but we do not deserve what we still have left in our lives. If you are an addict or an alcoholic out there and any combination of friends, parents, siblings or spouses have stuck with you, remember this:

     You do not deserve them.

     After giving up th…

Physical Sobriety Is Nothing at All

     Achieving physical sobriety is nothing. Recovery is not a function of time. It is a function of what actions we take and at what frequency we take them. The fact remains that no alcoholic or drug addict can achieve and maintain any quality of recovery without cultivating and obeying his or her conscience. Once the obsession to drink or use has been lifted and choice restored, relapse becomes a moral failure, especially if you consider the degree of agony and pain we cause others. There is no science that can justify ripping a mother's heart right out of her chest. 

     Sorry, but that is just the truth as it has been revealed to us through our experience...


*Note: First draft of Anybody Can Take Steps is finished. Editing begins now and then will publish ;)

Working Isn't Part of Recovery?

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Comment:

     I remember when my son's therapist at his first rehab told me that he should not be working and he needed to focus totally on his recovery. My response was, well that would be nice, but it's not an option, I cannot afford to support an adult child. My son even disagreed with the counselor telling him that idle time was his worst enemy. So many people I know with addicted adult children bear the financial burden of taking care of them for years...... I just don't see how staying home, sleeping late and doing NOTHING all day helps them recover. Then there are the 90 day rehabs then onto a sober living home for a year or more. I could not do that for my son, I did not have the financial means. Maybe I am crazy but I wanted him working. When crises happen in my life and there is addict drama and I am having a meltdown it isn't an option to leave my job to "recover".

Response:

     Well said.

     Working is a part of recovery, and an integral part at th…

Nothing External Can Fix an Addict

     What you must understand is that nothing outside of the addict can fix the addict. There is nothing that can be said, nothing that can be bought, no pill that can be taken, no therapist that can explain it away, no guru that can provide the magic answer, no doctor that can treat what ails us, no science project that can magically remove the darkness inside. Only addicts can fix themselves by taking enough action to access the unlimited power of God. 



Comment on Narcissism

Comment:

     Aren't all addicts narcissists? Does narcissism go away in recovery? If the narcissist is your child, do you go along with their delusions to keep the peace, or do you present them with reality even if you become the target of their wrath?

Response:

     Yes and no. Addicts become narcissistic but many retain the capacity to be honest with themselves and can restore their conscience if they humble themselves and do the necessary work. A pure narcissist lacks the capacity to be honest and is therefore a sociopath. Permanent narcissists have a chip missing regardless of drug and alcohol abuse. They are so shattered, twisted, desperate and depraved, there is no getting better short of divine intervention. Some people are simply evil and lack basic goodness. Pure narcissists or sociopaths fall into this category.

     For an addict, narcissistic behavior can certainly go away in recovery if the addict has committed to a life of spiritual growth and engages in rigorous and…

Elements of a Narcissist

* Have poor or no memory of events. Narcissists will rip you apart at the seams and then have little to no recollection of the event just days later. When they do have a memory of events, reality has shifted. They see themselves as the victim and you as the abusive one.

* Take no responsibility for their actions. Narcissists will never be accountable for what they have done. They will abuse with ease, but are completely incapable of taking any responsibility. They are proud, deranged and shattered, and will often twist events to avoid the truth. Don't expect an apology from a narcissist because you won't get one, let alone real change. And if for some reason you do get an apology, it is only because they have some self-serving agenda.

* Have no guilt or remorse. Narcissists will hurt you deeply and never think twice about it. They have no feelings for anyone and are incapable of loving. Narcissists are sociopaths. They are the center of the universe and everybody else is to be…

America, the Medicated

I think I'm done writing about meds. This is having no effect on anybody. Not only have we become a drug and disorder-obsessed nation, but we are now collectively conditioned to simply follow orders and take what we are told to take. More frightening is how the gov/media scripts a false truth to manipulate the masses and vilify good, innocent people who simply don't want to pump their infants with aluminum hydroxide, aluminum phosphate, calf serum, lactalbumin hydrolysate, formaldehyde, glutaraldhyde, neomycin sulfate, polymyxin B, polysorbate 80 and yeast protein.
     The above list of various poisons make up the Hep-B shot, in case you were wondering, usually given moments after birth, if you can fathom such a thing, let alone fathom that this passes as sound science.

     In 10 years of doing this stuff, there have been no changes to the mindless status quo of addiction treatment - pills, therapy, triggers, group therapy, but don't worry because relapse is…

Joke's On Us

The Western medical approach to addiction and mental illness is sort of a prolonged and painful failure, and there are very targeted reasons for this. If we get better, they go out of business, so the idea is to keep us coming but make sure we don't get too well. Of course, that model has been used before, as they essentially take after government.

     I used to be considered mentally ill - some of it real, some of it imagined. Today mental illness is no longer in my vocabulary, although you should probably check with my wife about that ;-) But when it comes to addiction and depression, I am no longer 'at risk'. I will never drink, use, or slip into some mind-blowing depression ever again.

     And no, that is not the pink cloud talking. Don't worry, there is no pink cloud anymore. That was ten years ago. Today we have kids, a dog, tenants, clients, poop on the floor, crusted food on the clothes, maintenance calls at all hours of the night, relatives getting on us abo…

Are We Just Disconnected?

Several people have now asked me to comment on this article from the Huffington Post - you'll have to excuse the source, of course, which poses as a news site. My apologies. 

     Certainly connection to self and others is part of any equation, as we are social creatures by nature and need human connection, but the fact is that people will use and become addicted if they want to use and become addicted, regardless of external circumstances. Strong connections and supportive environments will neither prevent nor vanquish addiction. Moreover, once we become addicted, we have to contend with the fact that we have gone insane - that we have the lost of the power of choice.

     To regain power of choice, something quite powerful must occur. As well, lasting change usually occurs as a direct result of rigorous work and a sincere desire to change as opposed to the environment in which we find ourselves. I had a very loving and supportive familial environment, as well as many clos…

Drugs Are Just Drugs

     The drug is not the monster. The drug brings out a monster that is already residing within.