Saturday, January 31, 2015

CDC Promotes Failure & Substitution Meds, Nothing Else

Nobody that becomes anything does so without wanting to on some level...

     The CDC asserts that "methadone remains the most effective treatment for opiate addiction."

     OMG, you have to be kidding me. That statement is absolutely insane.

     Man I feel bad for you guys. The nonsense you are being fed by conventional resources is essentially propaganda concocted to help us rationalize failure in a concerted effort to pump meds. The following can be found on the website of a regional support group, but most of the information comes straight from the CDC, appropriately. Not only is it totally depressing, but it is also false. Don't fall for it. So let's list a few of these nuggets in italics and then correct each statement as we go.

     Just to be clear, I've spoken at many of these support groups several times and these are good, wonderful people, so I'm not judging them, I'm simply correcting some of the information that appears online. Why? Because you should know that there is hope. Every single addict and alcoholic in the world with the capacity to be honest with themselves can recover, change into a wonderful person, and remain entirely drug free for life. The only people who can't recover are the psychopaths - those who lack the capacity to be honest.

 Many people, including drug users themselves, have mistaken beliefs about drug addiction and recovery from addiction. Two of the most pervasive myths are that a person can get off drugs alone and that most addicts can become permanently drug-free. These ideas stem in part from notions that continued drug use is voluntary and that a person's inability to overcome addiction stems solely from character flaws or a lack of willpower.

     Any addict can certainly get off drugs alone (meaning without other drugs) and become permanently drug free, and actually, those who quit without (often subsidized) substitution drugs have a much better chance of truly recovering, i.e. changing and becoming sane once again. The myth is that they cannot. And it is an obvious fact that a person's inability to overcome addiction stems from character flaws, and more importantly, from a total lack of willpower. If we had enough willpower, we would have the power not to use! See Addiction Is a Moral Failure, Obviously for more on the moral issue. 

The public also has a more evolved understanding of alcoholism as a disease and more realistic expectations about the success of treatment. The potential for relapse after treatment for alcoholism is generally recognized and accepted. In contrast, societal reactions when a person relapses on opiates or injection drug use are usually highly negative.

     Reactions should be negative. There is nothing okay with relapsing. There is nothing okay with using drugs to begin with. Everybody knows it is wrong to use drugs. Why? Because it feels wrong. We as humans have an innate sense of justice and what is wrong and right. If we feel that it is wrong to use drugs on a profound, almost cellular level, and we feel this way because of what drugs do to self and others, than yeah, it's wrong. See Sorry Folks, We Aren't Sad Little Children.

Similarly, society understands that chronic conditions, such as diabetes or high blood pressure, cannot be "cured" but only treated and controlled over many years to reduce potentially severe consequences. In contrast, if is widely believed that it should be possible to permanently cure a person of addiction to injection or other drugs. If a "cure" doesn't happen, then treatment is seen as useless and not deserving of societal investment or support.

     Addiction is entirely different than afflictions such as say, juvenile diabetes, or other diseases beyond one's control. We make ourselves addicts by using like a pig and therefore of course addiction should be treated differently. As well, it is possible to cure an addict (mentally, that is) and free them from the potential to ever relapse again. It is wrong to think that we are forever teetering on the edge and must dodge triggers at all costs, which don't exist to begin with. For more on triggers, see A&D Counselors are Clueless, and for some addiction 101, see What Is Addiction & How Do We Recover? 

Research Provides Some Explanations
A more sophisticated understanding of addiction has emerged in the last two decades and this is helping to clarify the disconnect between expectations and reality:

*Addiction is a brain disease. Long-term drug use causes profound changes in brain structure and function that result in uncontrollable compulsive drug craving, seeking and use.

     Addiction is NOT a brain disease, at least not in the way it is purported to be. Addiction is a malady that we can allow to either end us or that we can recover from entirely. Sure we can temporarily lose the power of choice AFTER repeated use, but that has nothing to do with the acquisition of addiction, which we have chosen to give to ourselves. Much of the modern, brain disease construct revolves around framing addiction as something that must be treated with medication. There is a clear agenda on the part of the pharmaceuticals, doctors and big government to medicate as many common people as they possibly can. The more doped out we are, the easier we are to control and, of course, to deceive, lie to, and effectively brainwash.   

     Why does everybody think that no addict wants to be an addict, that poor little me was involuntarily stricken with addiction. I loved drugs and alcohol and disgusting cigarettes with all my heart. Addicts LOVE to use and drink and suck down butts. Fact. Nobody that becomes anything does so without wanting to on some level. That is the truth, regardless of whether we want to believe it or not.

     Addiction is a spiritual malady. Sure the body of an addict reacts abnormally, but the ability to remain sober has nothing to do with biology, as noted and assumed by the scientific and medical community. The ability to stay sober for the rest of our lives is purely a function of becoming and staying sane. The brain of an addict doesn't matter. The physical problem, the allergy, the compulsion, is irrelevant. If we never pick up, if we never relapse, then who cares about how our body reacts to drugs and alcohol?

     Conventional wisdom, or academic addiction, is basically like supermarket wisdom. New age cliche's such as 'relapse is part of recovery' are created by big business recovery and pharmaceuticals, people who do not quite understand the reality and the effects of spiritual conversion. I know countless others who've had such a conversion and relapse is no longer in their vocabulary. Drug problem gone. No thoughts. No obsessions. No desires. Nothing. Just gone.

 *Addiction is a multifaceted disease. It is the quintessential "bio-behavioral disorder" with profound effects on a person's physical, emotional and mental health, as well as his or her family, colleagues, neighbors and community. 

     Dual-diagnosis is a hoax. All social maladies, including addiction and mental illness, stem from the same core condition: spiritual sickness, which manifests in various forms such as pathological selfishness, self-absorption, resentment, fear, insecurity, cowardice, anger, rage, narcissism, etc. Drug addicts present with any number of mental disorders because they are on drugs. Regardless of which comes first, addiction and mental illness are interchangeable. They are essentially the same thing. A person is either well or not well. The specifics are just details.

*Addiction is a treatable chronic disease. The changes in brain function and structure that occur with drug use persist long after drug use is stopped. "Cure" is therefore not necessarily an attainable or appropriate goal.

     Wow, that's hopeful. I don't understand, how does the clueless CDC explain recovered people? I was a horrendous alcoholic and opiate addict and I haven't suffered from a thought, feeling, 'craving', compulsion or obsession from the instant I finished reading my inventory ten years ago. It's not just me, there are hundreds of thousands of us.

     And how about these gems:

Unrealistic vs. Realistic Expectations: Changing the words we use

From                                To 
eliminate drug use            reduce or stop drug use
recovered                          in recovery
cured                                 treated and controlled
on my own                        with help
forever                              one day at a time
one-shot treatment            ongoing process
relapse is unacceptable     relapse happens


Trust me, the last thing you want to do is to change the words you use. If you say to an addict, "relapse happens", you are giving them permission to relapse, and needless to say, that would be insane. If relapse is not what you want, don't say relapse happens!

*Eliminating drug use is entirely realistic.
*Becoming recovered is entirely realistic.
*We can easily become cured mentally, just not physically.
*We absolutely recover on our own. Others only come into play when we make amends and when we go to help someone. They don't help us. We help them. That's how you get better, not the other way around
*Forever is entirely realistic, and in fact we MUST be willing to stay sober for life. We must be willing to not be a coward. We do this knowing that there is a sufficient solution powerful enough to replace our addiction with and always keep us okay inside.
*The Twelve Steps done the right way is a one-shot treatment with certain ongoing steps... and done properly, it works every time.
*RELAPSE IS DEFINITELY UNACCEPTABLE. That's the entire point of recovery - YOU DON'T RELAPSE!

God, please bring us all closer to You...

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

What To Do With Addicts

Rule #1:
     Don't listen to me or anybody else. It's better if you figure things out on your own. In fact, you will find the answers inside of you and the proper guidance if you sincerely ask and pray for it. Figure out the best solution based on your own situation. Listen to your gut and use your best, most honest judgment. See, Don't Listen to Me, for more on that.

     In, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, Shunryu Suzuki writes,

     “Even though you try to put people under control, it is impossible. You cannot do it. The best way to control people is to encourage them to be mischievous. Then they will be in control in a wider sense. To give your sheep or cow a large spacious meadow is the way to control him..."

     In other words, if you box someone in or tell them what to do, they want to bust out and do what you have forbid them to do. Conversely, if you give someone space and refrain from preaching, they tend to stay put and perhaps even ask your advice. Sure each case is different, but I personally don't chase people around anymore. If people want advice, they will ask for it.

     So when I say to leave us alone, I don't mean that you want to ignore us completely. In fact, I would pray hard, as you can never go wrong invoking the Holy Spirit. But don't waste your time pushing too much until we show some willingness. As well, if you try to control or change someone, be prepared to be forever disappointed. Sure you can attempt to educate us if you want, but ultimately, books, words, therapy sessions and medications are all useless. Sure you can sit down with an addict and try to bring them some wisdom. We probably won't give two shits, as we are 100% incapable of listening and absorbing anything other than dope, but hey, it might make you feel better.

     Listen to the addict. They will let you know one way or the other if they're looking for some help. But if not, why waste your precious time and energy? I'm not saying that we are all useless piles of garbage, but when in active alcoholism or addiction, that's pretty much exactly what we are - insane, delusional, annoying, loud, manic, unattractive, selfish, manipulative, dependent victims who think the world owes us something, who want free everything, and who think no one feels as bad as we do and therefore we have some sort of God given right to get fucked up 24/7.

     Tragically, many of us continue to remain totally self-absorbed, depressed and useless when we only achieve physical sobriety but fail to change and grow spiritually. A sober addict or alcoholic with no character or moral compass is essentially a failure. What's the point when you still can't give to others or give to the world, when you still can't serve as a beacon of recovery and an effective guide to those who still suffer?

     Sure all of us need some help in the very beginning, but then anyone who truly wants to get better will plow into recovery like a tank, letting nothing stop them. Until that fire is lit, good luck.

     I will leave you with some hope, however. While I did decide to drag myself to detox, it was the frothing at the mouth anger, pain and heartache of my wife and mother as they stood in front of me screaming and crying at the top of their lungs that helped me to actually consider treatment after detox. Now granted, much of what motivated me that day was that I couldn't fucking stand listening to not just one but two neurotic women ranting incessantly, so in an effort to get them to pipe down and leave me alone, I agreed to go ;-)

     But then once I met a recovered addict, saw people changing, and learned that the place I wound up at suggested spiritual growth, I knew that was it. I knew that was what I truly needed and I knew I finally had a real chance to get better. I grabbed onto it tightly and have never looked back.

     What did I grab onto, you may ask?

     Well, God, of course. I soon learned that the power of God is capable of anything and forever changed me as I was touched one night after reading my inventory and getting down on my knees to pray humbly and earnestly. If you can get an addict to want God more than drugs, you have solved the problem.

Also see, How Not to Help Addicts & Enabling Makes You Suffer

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Trust Me, The Root of Our Problem Is Selfishness


      So everybody's wrong, right? Uh, no, I don't think so.

     Regardless of what changes may occur to the brain from abusing drugs and alcohol year after year, the root of our problem is selfishness and the root of our recovery is unselfish action. Whether you want to believe that or not doesn't change the truth. Whether you want to explain away an illness by blaming others, blaming environment or blaming genes doesn't change the fact that addiction is acquired through selfish action and it is vanquished through unselfish action.

     I tracked some more searches for you over the course of the last two days. Hopefully this will help to illuminate the nature of our malady. Addicts can be likened to children who refuse to grow up, as growing up means shedding the ignorance of youth and the fantasy of adolescent narcissism. Growing up means hard work and personal responsibility. Growing up challenges us and pushes us out of our comfort zone - the one thing addicts don't want to do - feel uncomfortable.

     With addiction, we need to challenge conventional wisdom. What you think will work for you or your addicted loved one may be the last thing you want to do, so consider trying the opposite. In fact, since nothing and nobody can stop an addict, we should probably do nothing at all. Blasphemy! Actually, it's not. It's common sense, which tends to be uncommon. People usually choose to get better on their own as opposed to someone telling them to. Left alone, we are much more likely to change than if we are followed around, coddled and so forth. Huh?! Why! Charlie, you dumbass!

     Cool, no problem. Do whatever you want. However, the people who tried to intervene and shower me with pamphlets, doctors, pills and even love and friendship simply delayed my recovery. Allowing me to sink lower into the depths of darkness and despair was what closed the gap between me and God. The lower we go and the worse we get, the closer we get to God, one way or the other.

     Sure you don't have to lose all your teeth and become a walking STD before recovering, but trust me, most addicts won't stop using until they want to stop. To be more accurate, most addicts won't change until they want to change, short of some miracle... and yes, those occur as well, though not usually while we're sitting on our asses nodding off after a trip to the methadone clinic. 

01/23/15 - 01/24/15

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God, please rid us from the spiritual disease of selfishness, the preoccupation with self, and the addiction to comfort...

Monday, January 19, 2015

Projection & Self-Doubt

     A while back, some guy commented that everything I write regarding addiction is just an opinion. He wanted to see it that way because he needed to rationalize his addict's half-ass recovery efforts as well as the beliefs he had about his child.

     I hate to say it, but these are not opinions. This is knowledge that I have been given and acquired through the experience of real-life trial and error, and more importantly, actual RESULTS. When you're an addict and you go from extreme delusion and dishonesty to extreme clarity and honesty, you begin to see what is true and what is false. You begin to see things as they truly are.

     But when our own program/s continue to fail us repeatedly, we often engage in projection in order to avoid the shame and humiliation that accompanies failure. We project to avoid the truth, to avoid accountability, and most importantly, to avoid taking responsibility.

     Failure also begets self-doubt, and when self-doubt becomes pathological, it virtually creeps out of our pores, especially when we have to ask for something or stick up for ourselves. Pathological self-doubt usually occurs when we have been ridiculed incessantly growing up, especially by a narcissistic parent. Ironically, in damaged, victim-complexed individuals, sometimes self-doubt doesn’t really sound like self-doubt. In fact, the person with the guilt complex can come across as quite annoying. Why is that?

     For one, guilty, codepedent types usually beat around the bush instead of being direct, and let's face it, that's annoying. As well, the lack of confidence in our tone can actually be construed by the other person as sort of rude, indifferent, patronizing or impatient, despite no such intention being present. An anxious and guilty tone can be construed as one of blame, even if the true blame is towards self, and if there is a negative or defensive response from the person we are addressing, we cop a resentment. But the truth is that we are only mad at ourselves for not being able to communicate effectively, confidently, or straightforwardly with others.

     Unless we know why others are responding to us negatively, we will forever be frustrated and hurt by people. And sadly, there is nothing else to blame but our own character defects and our own delusional perception, when, in fairness, it never had to be that way. Effective communication doesn’t come from understanding the right way to communicate intellectually, as therapists would have you believe. It comes from self-understanding and practice in the real world.

     Ask yourself, why is everybody you know in long-term therapy still inept when it comes to communicating? 

     The answers already reside within. We just have to do some work, clean ourselves out and take some responsibility in order for them to surface. Once they do, we will be restored. We will be become honest once again, as we learn who we truly are, as we grow in strength and power, as we get up off the therapy couch, throw the pills down the toilet, grab life by the throat and walk forward - key word WALK as opposed to SIT. We must 'act' as opposed to 'think it out', which, along with more and more mind-numbing drugs, is the core approach to the new-age, degenerate model for addicts etc.

     What's sad is that nothing will ever change.

     Trust me, it won't.

     Why?

     Because the masses of sheep will never get it so long as they turn to the powers that be for their answers. Macro change will never come because people will always believe that the authorities will save them and solve their problems. Boy is everyone in for a rude awakening... and perhaps much sooner than you think.

Relationship Inventory

"God, help me to see those things that block me from You and Others."

1st Column (The person, institution or principle I resent.)

Wife.

2nd Column (The specific resentment.)

a) Took my head off for making an honest and thoughtful suggestion about the painting she has for sale, even though it was a sincere effort to help sell it.

3rd Column (Parts of me the resentment effects...)

SE (Self-Esteem),
P/A (Pride or Ambition)
P/SR (Personal or Sexual Relationships)

4th Column (How was I Self-Seeking, Selfish (dig for this one), Dishonest & Fearful?)

Self-Seeking: I am the fucking hero husband. In other words, I wanted to be seen as caring, loving and of course, business savvy.

Selfish: I was unable to see that even well-intentioned suggestions remind my wife of an entire lifetime of being ridiculed by her narcissist mom.

Dishonest: Partially, I wanted her painting to look a certain way (i.e. as good as it can) such that it reflects better on us, and more specifically, me.

Fear: I fear being honest with my wife, afraid that what I'll say will automatically rub her the wrong way. I'm afraid to be myself, which is entirely my own fault and my own problem.

     Looking even deeper, I am afraid to simply love my wife and her art for what it is. The suggestion as well as the resentment stem ENTIRELY from an inability to love my wife wholly and unconditionally, which of course, stems from an inability to love myself wholly and unconditionally. I must do better as a husband, as a man, and as a part of God's creation.

God, please teach me how to better love myself that I may better love others and do Your work well...

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Methadone Robs You from the Light of God

     I'm sure many of these methadone advocates and methadone addicts are not bad people, it's just that they don't understand anything about methadone, let alone the malady of addiction. Just read a story by a woman who rationalizes lifelong methadone use. She writes that at one time she went off of methadone and relapsed immediately.

     Um, yeah, that's because it doesn't work, which is, needless to say, a drastic understatement.

     You still suffer from the mental obsession, which can be characterized as recurring thoughts or ideas that do not respond to ration or reason. You still have a broken mind. You still have a chip missing in your methadone saturated brain. You are still completely insane. In fact, you are on a synthetic opiate and therefore you cannot biologically equate being on methadone with being sober unless you enjoy lying to yourself. Methadone is a synthetic opiate that will destroy your body and your life, just as heroin will.

     The blog author who posted this story quotes multiple government-sponsored organizations as if they are accurate sources of information. Lol. As we know, government agencies are infamous for spreading false propaganda, but few lies are as blatant and egregious as the following: 

     "Methadone remains the most effective treatment for opiate addiction."

     What's amazing about this quote is that the CDC tries to lie by telling you the lie, by altering reality. This is a well-documented method of concealing lies, corruption and criminal activity by doing it right in the open, thereby creating a perception in the general public that because it's not hidden or concealed, it couldn't possibly be criminal, corrupt or dishonest. The lie is shoved in your face, as if you are too stupid to figure it out.

     By equating methadone with opiate treatment, you can't lose the argument because you've never actually stopped taking opiates! Is it just me or are methadone pumpers completely lost? Opiate recovery refers to freedom from opiates, so how is that possible when your recovery is defined by remaining on opiates? More importantly, it refers to regaining the power of choice, and of course, there is no restoration of choice or willpower by the simple act of substituting one opiate for another? If you stop taking methadone and the obsession immediately strangles and suffocates you until you use, how are you in recovery? I don't get it. Putting a mask over your insanity to deal with your insanity is insane, obviously. Your illness is progressing the entire time and if you don't die on methadone, the run you go on when you taper will most likely end you, especially given the fact that methadone withdrawal puts heroin withdrawal to shame.

     What sort of precedent is methadone setting, that we as addicts only need to find a way to remain comfortable for the duration of our lives? So legal and rationalized failure is the standard to which we aspire? What about conquering your addiction and leaving it in the fucking dust while you take the world by the throat and have your way with it? How about becoming so strong and solid as a person that you can give back to your family, friends, community, country and world? How about becoming reborn, accessing the Power of God, and going off to serve and effect the lives of countless others.

     Come on, fellow methadone junkheads, DO SOMETHING with your life. Get well enough that you could actually serve as an appropriate example for others. Get well enough that you could actually help someone. Sound advice: If someone tells you that it's okay to "maintain" on methadone, or even more appalling, if your sponsor is on methadone, you need to run the other way as fast as you can before you continue to rip the hearts out of those who love you.

     Methadone advocates are just as blind. I'm sure many of them are not bad people but they have no idea what they are talking about despite foolishly believing they do. They are wrong yet believe they are right, and for good reason - either they or their loved one is on methadone, or they worship some clueless doctor who pumps methadone at every chance he gets and pretends to back it up with falsified research results.

     You will never touch the light of God on methadone. 

Methadone & Powerlessness
Inducing a Spiritual Experience

Brief Note to the Trolls

    Not that it really matters, but someone commented the other day on Frothy Emotional Appeal:
  
     "fucking trash didn't help at all you are a dick head for this."

     This poor chap just doesn't get it. These posts are written to help you. This is a service, and one that I'd be perfectly content to delete and forget about forever. I don't need to be anyone. I don't need to accomplish anything. If you are happy and okay, trust me, that is all that really matters. Personally, I am happy and at peace over here in the bitter cold of the People's Republic of Massachusetts, and therefore have no desire or need to tell others what to do.

     I write these posts the way I do because being challenged saved my life and gave my family indescribable peace and serenity. So I write my experience and my truth in a way that is directed towards others who suffer from addiction. The tone of these posts reflects the exact attitude that has enabled me to be recovered for ten years now.

     The fact that I was a horrendous alcoholic and drug addict and am now happy, successful and surrounded by a loving family, it is obvious that what I did and what I'm doing works pretty well. So when you reject this blog and start fuming inside, remember that the guy writing it is free, so you may want to consider the idea that I have at least a partial clue.

     Or you can continue to think the way you want and do what you want. But trust me, if you are a miserable prick, than you are clinging to a failed method or program and simply projecting what's inside of you onto others to avoid taking responsibility for your character defects and to avoid being accountable for who you are.

     Believe me, there are very few people I care about at all. I am perhaps a borderline sociopath, so be my guest, troll away ;-)

God, please make me a better man, help me to be more honest in word, thought and action, and keep me close to You today...

Friday, January 9, 2015

If You Want Answers, Observe

     For anyone who doesn't comprehend that our selfishness and cowardice preceded our physical allergy (brain disease), below is the complete list of searches that appeared on my stats page over the course of the day, and it is but one of many indications that addicts suffer from pathological selfishness, immaturity and a preoccupation with comfort, as opposed to the involuntary symptoms of a blameless genetic predisposition.

     Many parents and addicts alike swallow this stuff because they are blinded by the convictions they have about their children. Trust me, while your addicted child may very well be a wonderful, talented person, they did not just catch addiction and alcoholism in the air like a cold, nor were they powerless to avoid becoming an addict based on their DNA. That type of thinking is for those of us who want to remain brainwashed in the comfort zone of denial, which allows us to avoid the truth at all costs.

     Addicts and alcoholics made themselves addicts and alcoholics. Sure we lose control at some point, but the cultivation and maintenance of our 'brain disease' is the direct result of who we are and the actions we take. We become addicts by consciously doing the wrong thing, and we remain addicts so long as we continue to do the wrong thing.

     Those of us who recover are those of us who change and become willing to do the right thing. Those of us who get better are those of us who have instilled and nourished a moral compass, a compass that we refuse to ignore. Those of us who recover are NOT those of us who simply hit a few meetings and ply ourselves with suboxone, methadone, seroquel etc. If you look closely, you can see if your addict is the same sick person they've always been. You will see if they are still completely insane and ravaged by the poisons of rage, fear, dishonesty and weakness.

     Those who are recovered are completely different people. Those who are recovered don't lie anymore. Those who are recovered have God. 

01/09/15
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alcoholics are the most selfish people on earth

...and actually, the list goes on, but I'll spare you because the point has been made. Truth comes from observation, experience & practice.

God, please help those of us who still suffer find their way to You...

P.S. By the way, the new book is going well. I was going to post excerpts to keep the blog more active, but it's not edited (nor is it copyrighted), so I'm not gonna to do that.