"I've never hurt a soul. In fact, I'm a really nice guy. Besides, all I do is smoke pot all day and drink the better half of a twelve pack every night."
"Pot isn't a drug. It's been proven! There are no harmful effects and it is NOT ADDICTIVE! In fact, it actually heals you from, like, everything, and makes you a much better person. I heard that weed is actually the leaves of the fruit of the tree of life from the Book of Revelations. I definitely get closer to God the more weed I smoke. Definitely. I wish I still had my coconut chalice, man. Where the F did that thing go? I think my stupid Dad threw it out."
"I'm a happy drunk."
"I'm a really nice drunk."
"The thing is, nobody feels the way I do, because believe me, if they did, they would drink and use drugs too."
"Look, it's not my fault. It's my genes. Geez, have some fucking compassion. I have a disease, just like anyone else with any other type of disease. Totally involuntary."
"My doctor said it's totally fine and totally safe to just smoke pot, take methadone, and pop klonopin once in a while for my anxiety. That's all 'as prescribed' stuff, so please stop implying anything because I've been sober for a really long time. In fact, I'm celebratin' my 1 year this weekend at the meetin'. Omg, can't wait to get my chip!"
"I don't really owe amends to anybody 'cause all I did was use, but I didn't hurt anyone. If my mom was like sad that I used, that's her choice to be sad because I didn't actually directly do anything to her."
"I'm different than everybody else in the world."
"I use because I don't fit in."
"I use because of the way the kids treated me in school. It's their fault I started smoking meth and huffing. Now that I cook meth for my community, I'm at least trying to give back a little bit."
"I use because of stuff that happened to me, stuff that people did to me, and stuff that people said to me."
"I use because I'm bored, miserable, angry and have low self-esteem. My therapist said it makes sense that I would use if I felt all those things. He also said that relapse is part of recovery, so I shouldn't judge myself if I ever relapse. So I relapsed about 50 times over the summer and I'm really just gonna roll with it and go easy on myself. I mean, hey, it was the summer."
...on and on...
That feeling everybody flashes like a badge of honor in AA meetings about never fitting in, never feeling a part of the world, never feeling connected, well, um, we all have that. It's called being human. There is no such thing as being unique from the rest of the human race, but hey, you can tell yourself whatever you want to.