Showing posts from September, 2015

"Anybody Can Take Steps" - Intro


Anybody can take Steps, not just alcoholics and addicts. We are told to carry this message to others who suffer from addiction, but what about everybody else? Why hoard a process that can induce miracles? Shouldn’t everybody have access to these powerful and life-changing tools? Shouldn’t those we love feel the relief and serenity that we have procured for ourselves?  Letting go is a miracle. Once our basic needs are met, this is the secret to inner peace and happiness. If we can mentally/emotionally let go of all that is around us and inside of us, we can accept everything. We will have touched the great voice within and thus, the power of God. We can then touch the fabric of our universe and it is in this harmony that we continue to expand, know ourselves and give back. We’ll get more into letting go in Chapters 3 and 11, but to experience this inner evolution is something you do not want to miss. While there are many ways to achieve our ultimate go…

This Guy Gets It

This is part of a new comment on, Why Alcoholics Hurt People:

"I thought my love would be enough, I thought my love and caring would fix her. The problem with the addict: the more you love, the more they take of you and everything else, until there's nothing left to give."

     This is a guy who gets it. I don't sit here and turn things upside down for no reason. If you have a real alcoholic or drug addict in your life, you will eventually come to realize that there is no amount of time, energy, love or money you can sacrifice that will fix him or her, so you might as well not spend your life fighting so hard or making war with someone's addiction. All you will do is burn yourself out. You will become emotionally, mentally, psychologically and physically exhausted, sick, torn and depleted. That's what addicts and alcoholics do to people. 

     But as I explained in the old post, we do this because addiction and alcoholism is #1 in our lives... until it i…

Convenient Delusions

"Being a junkie and coming up with 100 bucks for your habit everyday is a harder grind than many working adults have ever experienced." - By Jackie X (Haha, yeah, stealing from those responsible, hardworking adults is really tough. Please.)

     "I've never hurt a soul. In fact, I'm a really nice guy. Besides, all I do is smoke pot all day and drink the better half of a twelve pack every night."

     "Pot isn't a drug. It's been proven! There are no harmful effects and it is NOT ADDICTIVE! In fact, it actually heals you from, like, everything, and makes you a much better person. I heard that weed is actually the leaves of the fruit of the tree of life from the Book of Revelations. I definitely get closer to God the more weed I smoke. Definitely. I wish I still had my coconut chalice, man. Where the F did that thing go? I think my stupid Dad threw it out."

     "I'm a happy drunk."

     "I'm a really …

Blind Faith

     Blind faith is the key to getting better.

     Alcoholics and addicts are stubborn, obstinate, and tend to worship their own minds/intellect. We think we can get ourselves better if and when we choose to, which is a fallacy. And no matter how smart we think we are, our minds have instead become narrow, limited and ignorant. We demand to see results. We demand to know exactly what it is that will fix us. We want to see it to believe it. But that may be the one thing standing in the way of getting better.

     Until I read my inventory (5th Step) and recited the 7th Step prayer, I didn't know if any of it would work. Sometimes it was difficult to embark on this mountain of work without knowing the end result. There was no guarantee I would have some profound psychic change. There was no guarantee I would recover. This is exactly why us addicts need to take a leap of faith... to break a lifelong pattern of never trusting in the unknown. We always have to know. We c…

Idiot Teenager Inventory

"God, help me to see those things that block me from You and Others."
 1st Column Dumb, entitled, ingrate teenagers who threw trash out of the window while driving by my house. 2nd Column a. Threw trash out of the window while driving by my house. Plus one of the kids' hats was on sideways and elevated. That doesn’t help. 3rd Column P/A, SE (because I take it personally) 4th Column *Self-Seeking: I'm a tough guy. No one throws trash outside my house. Good thing they didn't stop. And besides being a tough guy, I'm also way too smart to do something that stupid. *Selfish: I want others to act and think the way I do. Even more, I want these kids to feel ashamed for their stupidity (to indulge pride etc.). *Dishonest: I take it personally not necessarily because I care so much about Mother Earth but because I don’t want to see the trash on the ground outside of my house. I don’t like the way it looks. *Fear: I fear not being seen or noticed by others (for …

Does Your Program Give You a Purpose?

Purpose. That's what Steps give us, and for people like us that is priceless. Addicts, alcoholics and many non-addicts alike are lost and have no purpose in life, and even if we have a purpose/goal or think we have one, it is not serving us, nor is it powerful enough to keep us on the right path. But when addicts give themselves to this process, they gain a two-fold purpose: spiritual growth and service.

     So you really have to measure that against other treatment strategies when assessing the Twelve Steps. For instance, What purpose do Vivitrol injections give you? What purpose does Methadone give you? What purpose does relapse prevention give you? What purpose does writing down your made-up triggers give you? What purpose does therapy give you? What purpose does fabricating reasons why you drink or use drugs give you? What purpose does blaming someone or something outside of yourself give you? What purpose does blaming your parents or genes or feelings or thoughts give y…


ABUNDANCE  July 9, 2014
     I don't know if this is purely an addict reality, as I have nothing to measure it against, but I can't deny that the avenue to abundance lies in selfless action. In fact, worldly success or failure seems directly proportional to my degree of self-preoccupation. The greatest abundance in my life has materialized when I'm focused on service and attempting to be unselfish or useful to others, so there appears to be no direct avenue to worldly gain. There is only a by-product of gain from doing the right thing.

     Perhaps this is because acting unselfishly runs so contrary to my previous character, and even to my current character to a lesser extent. But regardless of the mechanism, the more I focus on spiritual growth and helping others, the more abundance comes my way and vice versa. Whether direct or indirect, service is a recipe for inner peace and outer abundance whereas selfishness is a recipe for outer failure and inner chaos.

Addicts Who Don't Recover Want to be Addicts

All I know is that I took Steps wholeheartedly and was touched by the power of God one night and instantaneously I went from a full blown junkie/alcoholic who couldn't stay sober for more than a few days for 15 years, to recovered and completely free from any thoughts or desires to drink or use whatsoever.

     That was ten years ago and I still have utterly no desire to self-destruct on any level be it emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. And remember that an addict is literally defined by a constant need/desire to self-destruct. So the steps work, or rather, God works.

     It's more about catching fire, so to speak. If the addict's moral pilot is properly lit, he won't use again. If the addict suddenly wants God more than drugs and is convinced that he must take constant right action lest he go insane and lose his connection to God, the problem is solved.

     All anyone has to do is to sincerely want to grow spiritually. Trust me, when a pe…

Excuses of an Addict

"Sorry I relapsed, guys, but it was the liquor store's fault. If the liquor store wasn't on my block, I never would've relapsed."
     "Sorry I relapsed, Mom, but it's because I walked by my friend's house and his door triggered me. My social worker said that his door was one of my triggers, so I can blame my relapse on his door."      "Sorry I relapsed, Dad, but I walked down a certain street somewhere and that was one of my triggers. It was the street's fault. So I guess it was the city engineer's fault."      "Sorry I relapsed, everybody, but the world is really chaotic now politically, economically and environmentally, and that triggers me. If everyone would just cool out, I could stay sober. It's all y'all's fault."
     "Sorry I drink wine every night like a selfish pig but it's my right because nobody knows what I go through and nobody knows how I feel. I'm the only on…

Self-Help & Treatment Is Selfish

No offense, but as I become increasingly more inundated with wordly life (bills, work, kids, family, dog, tenants, taxes, maintenance), I've realized that self-help gurus and addicts who don't ever leave treatment are essentially fraudulent, not that I'm not, but let me explain...

     Sure the self-help 'gurus' are generally accurate about psychology, karma and our inner lives, and sure addicts who never leave treatment are sober and sort of okay, but here's the thing:

     Um, it's easy to be calm and at peace when all you do is hang out at an oceanfront retreat ringing a meditation bell, sweeping leaves and writing books on how messed up everybody is and how you just need to let go, man. While I certainly resonate with Buddhist philosophy and psychology, does anyone not see the inherent selfishness in this? Don't worry, Many Western traditions are guilty of this kind of isolation and idealism too.

     Try joining the world and working a full-ti…

Presented Without Comment, Well, Almost

Below is a blog post by Jon Rappoport, entitled: "Psychiatrists Drugging Children for 'Social Justice'"

     And here is the original article it was based on from the New York Times propaganda machine:"Attention Disorder or Not, Pills to Help in School"

     How do people fall for this? You want to try to give the masses some credit but I guess being indifferent (if not altogether brainwashed) really is an epidemic, and to be fair, I think there is a good rerun of "Chloe and Lamar" tonight, followed by the "Teen Mom" season finale, so def can't miss that.

     Can anyone tell me how it is that Dr. Anderson has a license to practice medicine? Oh whoops, that's right, he's not a real doctor; he's a psychiatrist ;-)

     As if staying focused and "scoring well" in mindless government public schools will help anybody do anything, let alone that you are essentially drugging kids with speed (otherwise …

There Is No Mystery

The mystery of addiction is... there is no mystery.

     Look, everybody likes to feel good, everybody likes to feel pleasure and relief, but most people eventually grow up and become adults. Addicts do not. They remain in very juvenile, childlike fantasy land where real life and real problems don't exist, where the only concern is what kind of ice cream to choose, what video game to play, who said what and which friends are coming to the sleepover.

     When you grow up, I'll admit, it is sort if heartbreaking. The bubble of ignorance and innocence goes up in smoke as a new reality and new set of (real) problems begin to dominate your consciousness, such as figuring out who you are and what you are going to do.

     Adults must find a way to compete, survive, make a living, support others, pay ever-increasing taxes and obey ever-expanding laws. Adults must take care of themselves when they get sick, injured or diseased. Adults must find doctors, make appointments and st…

How to Cripple an Addict

There is a solution... it's just that most addicts don't want to do any work, and there is no solution without work. Sadly, as a society, we are becoming programmed to reward and even glorify failure and dependency while demonizing hard work, success, independence and free thought/speech.

      When you ply an addict with more drugs, when you validate an addict in therapy, and when you subsidize an addict with government programs (aka your money), you are essentially telling them that they are too weak, sick and stupid to truly get better and recover, and to make things worse, you are doing it under the guise of compassion, under the guise of science and the disease model.

     What you must understand is that this new "compassionate" approach only further cripples addicts and relegates them as weak, diseased failures. So while some think that this blog is harsh or negative or unproductive, you've got it all backwards. Honesty and service restore a man's…