Showing posts from March, 2015

Banning Drugs & Socializing Treatment is Useless

Some people just don't get it...

     Banning drugs does nothing to curb drug use.

     As well,

     Taxing people for more treatment centers does nothing to increase recovery rates.

     If addicts want to get high, they will get high.

     If addicts want to recover, they will recover.

     This is what clueless sounds like:

     "They should pay for this!" They should pay for that!"

     Who's they, the government? Um, dumbasses, the government pays for shit with money they tax from the few people still working in the private sector. And when they just print money to pay for shit that they can't pay for, (deficit spending), it comes from your children, as new currency is borrowed into existence. Most people don't know this, but our monetary system is literally designed to bleed you slowly over time.

     Anyway, ban oxycontin and we will just start drinking. Ban drinking and we will just start cutting ourselves or something. We will get what we …

Semantics Are Important

Sort of an interesting comment recently about recovering vs. recovered. The assertion was that whether we used the term 'recovered' or 'recovering' was merely semantics. Now, needless to say, if what you're doing works, then great. However, my specific use of the two terms describe two totally separate conditions, and as such, is anything but a cursory study of semantics. This often happens where someone just looks at the title of a post and quickly replies before actually comprehending it.

     The majority of people who "join" AA, go to meetings, and relapse chronically are certainly not recovered, and therefore, we wouldn't choose to use that term if we're still owned by our alcoholism or addiction. To note, many people in AA are not alcoholics anyway, and in that case, neither term is relevant.

     When I say recovered, I am using the term to describe being free from the mental obsession. In other words, a recovered person no longer suff…

Do the Opposite of Therapy

So if therapy is sitting on a couch and talking about yourself, you wanna do the opposite of that.

Book Update

Since December, I have been actively writing a new addiction book entitled, "Anybody Can Take Steps", which breaks down the 12 Step process for anybody, addict or not. There is no reason why these universal tools and insights should be limited to the maladies of alcoholism and addiction.

     The book also tries to describe many of the challenges we face today regarding our feelings, thoughts, behaviors, habits, relationships and social dynamics. More importantly, I try to repeatedly connect all of that stuff to the importance of attending to our spiritual health, as many of our problems can be explained by some void or emptiness, by some disconnect or lack of purpose.

     At any rate, I'm almost done with the rough draft and then I will edit it and publish it.

     I'm also writing a book entitled, "Privileged Addict Quotes", which will be a collection of the best quotes, ideas and concepts from the last several years of writing and blogging about …

Recovery Is Very Simple

     The only thing necessary for an addict to recover is for he or she to decide that they really want to change. If you really want it, anything is possible. There is no such thing as 'he or she tried their best but still relapsed and went into the darkness'. If we truly want it, and not 99.9% but 100%, it will happen. Trust me, if they failed, they didn't really want it. They didn't want to change completely. 

Don't Ever Give Up

"If you're going through hell, keep going... Never, never, never give up." Winston Churchill
     My poor dad, God bless him, died from early onset, atypical dementia. He deteriorated over the course of 12 years as his brain gradually degenerated. Early onset, atypical Dementia? Lol. Um, no. My Dad was a very sad, broken, severely depressed, dry alcoholic whose spiritual malady began to manifest organically as his brain turned on itself.

     What's the point, you may ask? The point is that whether we are alcoholics or addicts, whether we are parents or spouses, or whether we are just human beings living on earth, we are all faced with the same question:

     Are we going to give up?

     Really, what could possibly be gained from giving up?

     If you're in the middle of hell, why turn around? There is nothing to be gained by turning back and everything to be gained if we keep going. The lesson my dad taught me was to never give up. He gave up and…

Who Really Gets Us Better?

Another question I get sometimes is,

     "Charlie, why don't you take credit for your recovery? I don't understand, obviously it was you who did all this work and accomplished what you have accomplished."

     Thanks, but no. I take no credit for what happened to me, for the ability and the power to do good, and for the blessings in my life that have occurred as a result of taking Steps and trying to get closer to God. Yes I did some work and gave it my all, but you have to separate the work we do from the work God does. And no, this does not conflict with cause and effect. Sure I believe that if we work hard, we will yield positive results, but that doesn't mean we are the source of the results.

     So yes I made the effort, but the actual changes that occurred inside of me was the work of God. And yes I continued to make the effort and fight through some tough feelings, but the blessings that materialized because of this effort and consistency was the wo…

Uhh, What's the Point of the Blog?

One time an in-law asked me what the point of the blog was. Yup, nope, they couldn't figure it out. Some of us are just a wee bit too short-sighted to understand the point of writing or what I'm trying to do, no offense of course. But for those who need it spelled out, this is the deal:

     First of all, both the book and the blog were simply a response to having children. With suddenly much less time to travel, speak and work with people individually, writing allowed me to continue helping right from home. Second, let me confirm that I myself am the knucklehead addict who I so often refer to generally in these posts. This is simply my experience with what addiction is, what works and what fails.

     Third and most important, the tone and the approach I choose to take is very much a targeted one. I am trying to get all of my fellow addicts and alcoholics out there to fight for their lives, to do this work, to give back the relief we have stolen from those who love us, a…

Harsh? Maybe, but Hand-Holding Doesn't Work

I know the last post is kinda harsh, but you have to understand that if you hold an addict's hand, as soon as you let go they will just fall back down again.

     Nothing sticks unless we do it ourselves.

See Hand-Holding.


I've had the profound blessing of publicly speaking to groups of parents as well as the opportunity to work individually with moms and dads, either in the Steps or through general counseling and addiction education. One thing I'm always asked is something like,

     "Yeah but Charlie, you've had success because you've worked really hard and you are committed and passionate about this stuff, but my kid might not be able to do it like you..."

     Do what? Work hard? Please.

     "There are just certain things he can't do, certain things he won't do, certain things he's not willing to do..."

     Um, no. Sorry. That's not gonna cut it. There is no such thing as 'he or she can't do it'. There is only 'he or she won't do it'. And the only remedy for that is to suck it up and just do it. If they are not willing, then they need to become willing. And if they have trouble becoming willing, they need to get over …

Narcissism in Recovery

I can admit that I sometimes suffer from narcissism in recovery and must continue to rid myself from this character defect. We all fall prey to it, and while it is really just a human flaw, addicts must be especially aware of this stuff, for the well of an addict often becomes poisoned much faster than that of someone who isn't so spiritually ill.

     Narcissism occurs when I begin to perceive myself to be an extension of everyone else, and as such, I falsely believe my feelings to be dependent on what occurs externally (outside of me). In plain English, I start to blame others for how I feel, which is delusional. By the way, it is also narcissistic when I start thinking others should think or feel the same way I do about something... so feel free to disagree.

     But the point is, once again, that knowing all about our flaws is completely useless if we don't cleanse ourselves properly via inventory etc. so that the work we do actually works. This is why therap…

Get Your Advice From Nature

     This you must understand: until we have a profound and total psychic change whereby our minds, attitudes and characters have been fundamentally altered, trust me, we WILL continue to hurt you, use you, disappoint you.

     There is an old Native American proverb, "what you resist will persist", and boy how true it is.

     Fighting against what is will often just prolong it. Consider this as you exert your will and try to make war with someone's addiction. Resistance is often fuel for its object, so when we let go, the problem may actually dissolve much faster than by continuing to interfere. It may seem counter-intuitive, especially with something as deadly as addiction, but we must apply the same universal wisdom that holds true in other aspects of life. Besides, the truth is that nothing outside of the addict can fix him or her anyway.

     Take it from nature. Nature gets it. It doesn't whine and complain and moan about anything. It doesn't resist the…

Accomplishment = Happiness?

Sometimes we falsely equate accomplishment with happiness, but have you ever accomplished something only to be void of happiness altogether? I have to say, if there is any causal relationship at all, for me happiness is much more likely to produce accomplishment than the other way around.

     I've found that when I focus on creating peace and happiness within, the things I want to accomplish have a much greater chance of manifesting. By not focusing primarily on what I want to accomplish, opportunities naturally arise for me to accomplish those things. Things happen when I'm busy doing something else, when I'm busy taking care of myself and not forcing my will. Things happens when I'm focused on trying to create inner peace and attempting to do the right thing.

     This may all seem paradoxical, but often that is what truth really is. For instance, isn't it often true that when we slow down, we actually tend to accomplish much more? Why is that? It is b…