Sunday, October 5, 2014

Let's Destroy Some More Myths

Let me help out.

1) Relapse is part of recovery.

     False. Relapse has nothing to do with recovery. That's the point of recovery. You don't relapse. Many people don't understand that cliche's and catch phrases like this are designed by treatment centers, treatment professionals and pharmaceutical companies to peddle products and services to addict and their families.

     Please read, Relapse is NOT Part of Recovery, for greater elaboration.

2) Drug addiction is a very complex disease that nobody understands and there are endless factors that go into becoming an addict. Drug addiction is almost always associated with dual-diagnosis. 

     False. I know we'd like to think it is, but trust me, it's not. The process of getting better requires nothing more than consistent right action. Sure we deal with our past, but even this process is quite simple. We take our lifetime of resentments, fears and sexual misconduct and see each event, behavior or feeling honestly and clearly. In doing so, the resentments, fears and behaviors lose power and we move on.

     There is no point to dwell on all kinds of traumatic events in therapy year after year. We deal with our past and we move on. What we do from this point forward is by far more important than looking backwards. While internal analysis may be interesting and provide some insight, it is action that really changes people and cements their recovery, not analysis.

     As far as the specific process of becoming an addict, it is very straightforward, contrary to popular belief. A person uses continuously until they establish a physical dependency. As the addiction begins to progress, the mental condition deteriorates until the person becomes insane and loses any willpower, ration or reason regarding drugs, which is what prevents the addict from being able to stay stopped.

     Sure many of us are not okay in the absence of drugs and alcohol, but the process of becoming an addict is not a mystery. You use, you break your body, you break your mind, you lose your power. People say, well then why didn't I become an addict when I smoked pot once in college or drank at the frat party? Um, maybe because you didn't smoke and drink non-stop, all day long, everyday and because you didn't have a problem with pathological selfishness.

3) The twelve steps failed me or failed my child. I tried AA and it didn't work. My son or daughter tried AA and it didn't work. 

     False. The twelve step process, which is AA, doesn't fail anybody. We fail ourselves. We fail the twelve steps, NOT the other way around. Trust me, if you or your addict relapses, then you or your addict has left something out and has not done the work thoroughly or fearlessly. Rest assured that failure is due to not wanting to change to begin and having no intention of actually giving 100% to the work.

4) Drugs and addiction just came and possessed me or my child and took them over.  

     False. Drugs and addiction do not possess us. We possess drugs and addiction.

5) There is this new miracle drug, book or therapy you have to try. It will cure drug addiction! 

     False. Nothing man-made can fix us. And addict who isn't willing to go to any length to recover will fail 100% of the time.

6) The myth of psychiatry. Without medication, many disorders cannot be cured. 

     False. Psychiatry promotes the myth that you need medication to recover from certain maladies or disorders in an effort to maintain relevance and remain employed, to justify exorbitant fees, and to secure a presumed position of but empty prestige.

7) Therapy is necessary and really helps an addict so much.

     Lol. False. I personally don't believe therapy actually helps anyone, especially addicts. After years of talking, all I have experienced and witnessed are people who are very much the same, have all the same damage (if not more), and are still angry, lonely, depressed, narcissistic, anxious, resentful, victimized or you name it. Talking doesn't actually solve anything. Regardless of the education you may get about yourself, it really doesn't change who you are or how you feel. I can't help but equate therapy with little more than paying for a friend. Why not save the money, call a buddy and go get some coffee?

     I went to a therapist for addiction and depression for years and was even honest with him and guess what happened? Nothing. In fact, I sunk deeper and deeper over the years as my addiction and depression grew, becoming more rooted and cemented. Talking does not fix anything. Action does.

8) Faith doesn't matter or make any difference in getting an addict better.

     False. We can equate having faith and trusting in God as a form of humility. Many think this means we avoid action and responsibility, though nothing could be further from the truth. Of course we have to do the work ourselves, as God doesn't help those who don't help themselves. But giving credit to God for our recovery and blessings as opposed to giving ourselves the credit is a much more sane, vigilant, and less arrogant way of thinking.

     Addicts who become cocky about their recovery and their personal achievements are much more likely to relapse and fail than those who believe in God and give Him credit for restoring them to sanity. Anything that humbles an addict is good for him or her, and faith is the greatest form of humility that exists. There is just no argument to the contrary, despite what you may hear from various doctors who apparently specialize in addiction.

9) Recovered addicts like Charlie and hundreds of people he knows are totally unqualified to treat addicts because they don't have at least 3 framed degrees on the wall, subsidies and research grants from the government and Big Pharma, or any clinical data or evidence that the twelve steps work. 

     Yeah, we have no evidence except... wait for it... actual results... like being recovered.

     False. Look, do whatever you want. I really don't care, at least not nearly as much as I used to, but just don't be surprised if you fail. You cannot rely on pills, therapists, doctors or government to save you. Only you and God can save you through hard work. The myth that you need these things to recover from ailments is pumped by mass media, Hollywood, government, universities, public schools, and the dens of corporate marketers and advertisers. I've seen the most insane fuckers recover completely without meds. All they needed was to induce a psychic change through hard work and spiritual action. Done.

God, please teach us and help us prepare for what is coming our way...

6 comments:

  1. My son wanted the Vivitrol shot - so of course we obliged for 7months. Almost $10k later (it's very expensive without insurance) we find out that he is using Meth instead of his DOC Heroin. That was pretty much it for me paying for anything like this. He obviously didn't want sobriety and still obviously being naive we thought he was done since he wanted the shot. He called it a miracle because he had no cravings or desire for H but obviously he still had a desire to use. Now he is back to H well and of course throws in Meth (because he says it isn't his DOC so it's okay) the reasoning he uses continues to astound me. Oh and the years of therapy that didn't do a thing for him either as he just continued to get worse. A few years ago, well even a year ago when we found this miracle shot I would not have believed this post you just wrote. But since we have done everything on your post I agree. Until he really wants it no pill, shot, rehab, Dr, even jail will help him get sober.

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    1. And that is perhaps the only reason I continue to repeat myself, as misunderstanding the actual nature of addiction will cause everybody a world of pain and financial loss. When we understand addiction, we can understand why all of these external, faux remedies cannot fix an addict or effect real and lasting change. Same for these words... they are useless too. My only hope is that this may plant a seed, and that others may know there is a solution.

      Btw, Got your email, Tori. Thank you. I'll shoot you back in the next day or two. Be well.

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  2. ditto what tori said. the first one, relapse is part of recovery really gets me. i actually have had AA people and doctors tell me that relapse is a VERY important part of recovery. i remember thinking i was sunk at that point. until they want it...nothing will help them.

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    1. To be told by educated people that 'relapse is a very important part of recovery' is absolutely astounding. The phrase alone is completely insane on its face, given its inherent contradiction. The truth is that these types of 'talking points', if you will, or recovery cliche's are actually destroying addicts and robbing them of avenues to truly get better, become strong, and grow in the real way. Glad you are here, Janet. Bless you.

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  3. I really look foward to your posts and wish I could force them into my 31 year old addicts head! Keep up the good work please!

    Kathy

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    1. Thank you so much, Kathy. And thank you for reading ;-)

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