Dare to dream?
What do we do once we get better? The truth is that once the obsession has been lifted and maintaining such a state has become cemented into our lifestyle, we can and we must begin to trust in our recovery. We don't need 5 meetings a day 10 years down the road. For one, that would indicate something is very wrong with our program, and two, doing so would be quite selfish. Spending that amount of time in a basement for no one else but ourselves would most certainly rob our families of our help and service, let alone our presence, both of which they now deserve after the seemingly endless years of not only using selfishly, but selfishly recovering as well.
So what do we do when we start trusting in ourselves again?
While nobody but you should make that decision, feel free to dream and then to act. I grew up playing piano, drums and guitar, composing music, acting in theatre and film, writing stories, poems, lyrics and plays. But the truth is I am not pursuing those dreams. Why? Well, for one, I have changed. While I still love to do that stuff, it alone doesn't have the same effect it once had. Once I had a spiritual experience, suddenly it was service that began feeding me and nourishing me and lifting me up the way music and acting once did.
Trust me, once you are touched by God and begin attempting to live a more spiritual life (which every alcoholic and addict must do), it all changes. Sure we can pursue our dreams, but don't be surprised if your dreams change a bit. Personally, I both realize and understand that using various gifts to carry this message, inspire, and help to effect change in others is not only what I want to do, it is the right thing (for me) to do.
Addicts who recover can pretty much do anything, though many of us find that helping others does for us what our previous passions once did. Either way, the point is to continue living the solution and at the same time 'go for it'. Try things. Challenge yourself. Dare to dream. This life is not a dress rehearsal. It is the one life we have, so expire yourself fully, use yourself up, and be sure to make use of this incredible opportunity we have been given in life to learn, grow, change and give back.
And yes, it is okay to dream and not to live an entire life of service. Be yourself and do what you love. So long as we spend enough time tending to our inner lives and giving back, there are no rules, except those imposed on us by the misguided powers that be. But don't let anyone or anything or any power stop you from trusting in your recovery, becoming yourself, and fulfilling your dreams.
God, teach me to trust in my recovery, that I may continue to grow, change, move forward, and dream...