Showing posts from September, 2014

These Two Things MUST Occur to Become Recovered

1. The mental obsession must be lifted.

2. Our conscience must be restored to the point where we care more about not hurting others or hurting ourselves spiritually than we do about comforting ourselves with drugs or alcohol.

     If we become so disgusted by drugs and alcohol, by what they do to us and to others, we will repel them viciously as instruments of pure evil and never even think about picking up again. All we have to do is care deeply and profoundly about the consequences of our actions and we will be free from drugs and alcohol forever.

     If these two things occur, addicts and alcoholics will never use again.

     If these two things don't occur, it is a certainty we will use again and cause more pain. In every person who continues to relapse and struggle, neither of these two things has occurred, especially #1, regardless of how much treatment we've had.

     Treatment, therapy, meetings or meds of any sort are completely useless if they fail to lift the the …

If You Want To Recover, Reject Selfishness

People miss the point of addiction & recovery entirely. It has little to do with science or chemistry or genes or how we were hurt in our lives. Sorry. The very cause of the illness is selfishness and the very nature of the illness is spiritual... so the only way to truly recover is to be unselfish and get closer to God.

     In other words, no thing and no one can undo what we did to ourselves. We can only recover from addiction if we have faith and do the work while rejecting what got us into trouble to begin with, which was our self-will and our self-worship, our belief that we can control it and our belief that we can control the world around us.  

     If any addict still believes they can get themselves better, they will never recover. Until we understand that we are powerless and need spiritual help, we will remain quite ill and subject to relapse. 

Also see: ResentmentResentment Inventory & "How It Works"

"How It Works"

FromAlcoholics Anonymous, pp. 58-63:

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of be­ing honest with themselves. There are such unfortu­nates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasp­ing and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.      Re…

About the Meds...

One of the reasons people read this blog is because I don't care to appear a certain way or to censor my voice, and so I will do you the service of continuing not to care.

     The people who say how harmful I am cannot indicate anyone who has actually been harmed, including themselves. So it's not that I'm harmful to others, it's just that that is the argument people use when they disagree, which of course means they are lying. To think something is harmful and for something to actually be harmful is the difference between fantasy and reality. Do you know how many emails I get from people who say (to put it lightly) how much this has helped them? I have no idea because I can't count them all. Do you know how many emails I get from people who say how much this has hurt them? None.

     TO NOTE: Non-addicts can do whatever they want to do, so don't bother me about that, because this blog is really about drug addiction and alcoholism, in case you missed that…

Intellectuals Are Clueless

Oh the stupidity and the hubris of non-addict 'professionals' and 'specialists' who think they know with absolute certainty what will work and what addicts should do, as if they somehow understand the workings of addiction simply because they have a position of power and a few textbooks jammed inside their heads.

     The reason non-addicts fail so miserably to help drug addicts is because they think they actually know about addiction and what helps when they have ZERO real world experience. Memorizing textbooks and academic journals or the latest findings from whatever pharmaceutical company doesn't actually mean you know what you are talking about. Do we not see how ridiculous it is to listen to someone who is really just imagining what it's like to be an addict and how to treat addiction? 
     You can't know something you don't have any experience with. It's like someone giving parental advice thinking they know what will work for your kid…

Hard is Good, Easy is Bad

Quote from,Neutral = ReverseMay 24, 2012:

"Let me assure any addicts out there that the harder thing to do is without question the better thing. Easy is bad for alcoholics and junkies. Easy is what we do. Easy is like our personal code or creed. Easy is our religion. Just like selfish is. But hard is good for us. If I'm not challenging myself, it's all over."

     Sorry, and not to bash your hopes for some miracle cure, but there is no easy way to recover from addiction. That being said, it is actually very simple. It requires that the addict become willing to change and to work. If an addict refuses to lift a finger, even if the addict will give 99% but not 100%, there is a 100% failure rate. But if the addict gives 100% to growing spiritually and getting rid of self, there is a 100% success rate.

God, please give those of us who love us the knowledge and the comfort they deserve...

Addict Newsflash: Pills Cannot Undo What We Have Done

It isn't possible to just take a pill or have some injection and be free from addiction. If you've been told that there is some miracle drug for addiction, you have been lied to. Trust me, that's the whole point and the nature of addiction. It's like destroying a relationship or committing a crime. You can't just snap your fingers and undo it. You have to manually undo what you have done. Go ahead, try it. Call me from detox when you relapse.

     As well, no addict can just go out there and do it his or her way. That is also not possible, as doing things our way is the very thing that made us addicts to begin with! We must do things we do not want to do. We must live life on life's terms. We must have faith in something much Greater than ourselves to guide us through this journey. We must drop the idea that our own intellect and faculties can get us better, because they cannot.

     Humility and reliance on God is essential. If you could do it on your ow…

POA Questions

Please feel free to request a blog entry on any particular subject or question. That being said, I don't tell people what to do specifically, nor do I want to. It is much better to figure out the answers on your own (See Don't Listen To Me). What I do here, despite some periodic and impulsive accusations to the contrary, is to share what I have learned through my own experience and you can take from that what you will.

Should addicts with mental issues not take anything? 

     Active addicts are going to present with any number of mental disorders, including but not limited to depression, hypomania, psychosis, anxiety, dissociative disorder, narcissism, ADD, PTSD and you name it, all of which may be entirely drug-induced. It is therefore crucial to achieve sobriety unmedicated and remain unmedicated until the fizz settles, if you will. Once sober, we must also embark on a rigorous program of action to determine what leftover mental skews, if any, may be dissolved…

Addicts Don't Understand Being Human

Addicts think that simply being human makes it appropriate to use drugs...
    We addicts somehow believe that our experience is novel. We believe that NOBODY suffers quite like we do, that nobody feels depression and despair and dissatisfaction the way we do. We believe ourselves to be special and unique and different from everybody else, even other addicts. Believe it or not, I actually believed there wasn't a single soul who understood or felt what I felt, that I somehow had it the worst...

     ...and believing such bullshit made it very convenient to do anything it took to make myself feel different. I believed that I had a divine right to keep myself comfortable 24/7 by drinking and using drugs because nobody experienced pain and discomfort as I did. 
     Oh but they do. It's called being human. Everybody suffers. Everybody feels uncomfortable and shitty at times. The difference is that they have continued developing into adulthood and understand that suffering is just …

Addict Newsflash: Disease Model Clarification


     Sure it's a disease and sure we might be sad, but it's a disease we gave to ourselves by using too much, and about the sad thing, we're also pretty selfish... and oh yeah, everybody's sad. There is no way around those two facts. Trust me, we put some time and effort into becoming addicts. The bottle and the needle don't just suddenly pick themselves up and jam us into oblivion when we are dumbass teenagers using for the first time. We pick them up and use and use until we finally break our bodies and minds and acquire the disease of addiction. Only then do we lose the power of choice.

     None of us are born addicts. We become addicts through a succession of selfish choices. No person, place or thing outside of ourselves is to blame for our addiction. We alone create who we become. Physically, we will die with the allergy to drugs and alcohol. Mentally, we can re-acquire the power of choice and foreve…

What Are The Twelve Steps?

The reputation that the Twelve Step program often gets is sad and disturbing, to say the least, but this is primarily because most people have no idea what the Twelve Steps are.

     Some call the Steps and AA a vicious cult, hell bent on brainwashing and controlling you with religion. Some call it an abject failure that is completely outdated and wrong in the way it attributes addiction to moral failure. Some just dismiss it arrogantly because it fails the test of new age science, quack psychology and intellectualism. Some call it unsubstantiated because there is no clinical data to back it up, which clearly must render it useless in the field of addiction treatment. And some of the worst are today's doctors, often products of the brainwashed status quo, who believe they know everything and that we are just a bunch of uneducated imbeciles who need to be told what to do.

     In fact, that attitude sort of reminds me of every single morally relative, collectivist academic I k…

There's Only One Solution

There is only one actual solution, besides some sort of immediate divine transformation. Everything else is just a remedy or band-aid, and lots of stuff shouldn't even be dignified with either label. The only solution is something we like to call "hard work", also known as "repeated right action". Nothing else with save us or fix us for good. Nothing else will effect real and lasting change in us. There is no easy way out... not with the damage we have done both internally and externally.

     Why does repeated right action work?

     For one, because it keeps us sane, and any addict who is kept sane is safe from relapse. And it's because with each little bit of courage we show, we gain more and more access to the power of God, and the more we can access the power of God, the stronger we get, the more we can do, and the more limitless our life becomes.

     Truly, we can get to the point where addiction is nothing to us anymore, just a blip on the rada…


True knowledge is gained through the experiment of living life. I have gained truth about myself and my life from the results of my experience, through the tools that I have acquired and been given, and through the actual consequences of my words, thoughts, and most importantly, my actions. I know what has failed me and what has brought me success. And I can reasonably assume that anyone who shares a similar experience may also experience similar results.
     This is precisely why the Big Book prophetically states that you can rely on anything a [recovered] alcoholic may say about himself. A recovered addict who has gained clarity and success knows himself completely. The reason my experience makes so much sense to me is because I understand who I am, and the more we understand ourselves, the more we understand everything. As I've suggested before, I don't think we are really that complicated. We are essentially just human creatures on earth, sometimes do…

The Dual Diagnosis Hoax

To heal myself, I simply had to address the core underlying problem. Trust me, you don't need the DSM-IV to figure us out. We like to pretend and act all complicated, but we're not. Nobody is. The truth is that we are spiritually ill, just like everybody else who suffers from anything.

     In today's drug and disorder obsessed America, we typically sit down with a therapist of sorts and explain our problems as they mentally sift through the DSM-IV trying to pinpoint our specific basket of personality disorders, mental disorders and/or chemical disorders. Upon our diagnosis of say, alcohol dependency, severe depression, PSTD, and let's throw a little ADHD in there just for good measure, the therapist/doctor attempts to address each specific disorder with a combination of therapy and various medications. Nothing could be more ridiculous in attempting to effect long-term healing.

But why, Charlie? How dare you spew such non-clinical blasphemy?

     Don't get mad at me…