Showing posts from August, 2014

A&D Counselors Are Clueless

There is nothing more useless for addicts and alcoholics than relapse prevention (via trigger identification)... except maybe harm reduction (i.e. methadone, suboxone, etc.). When you go to any run-of-the-mill TC, an A&D counselor sits you down, gives you some paper, and tells you to write down all of your triggers. Then the addict stares at the counselor and then stares at the paper and thinks, Hunh??? Then the counselor says something like,

     "Come on, Charlie, be honest, I'm sure you have many, many triggers. Think about it, dig deep and write them all down, because if you can identify your triggers, then you can avoid them, and then you can just stay sober. And if you bump into one of them by accident, not to worry because relapse is part of recovery."

     Besides all of that being complete nonsense, let's just pretend for a moment that triggers exist and that I avoid every trigger known to man. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't prevent m…

Most People in AA Are Not Alcoholics

No offense, but most people who go to AA and say how meetings and the fellowship and calling their sponsor kept them sober all these years are not actually alcoholics. I'm not saying they're not wonderful people who deserve a social group and what have you, but they are not alcoholics. They're actually just pretending to be alcoholics, and again, I really mean no offense. Most people in AA are heavy or even moderate drinkers whose lives are affected by alcohol in some way, but they can stop on their own willpower. They have power over alcohol.

     The true alcoholic is powerless over alcohol. When we are truly powerless, meetings and fellowship and sponsors and sobriety coins and slogan recitation and putting chairs away and stuff cannot keep us sober. It's all good and well, but none of it can keep a true alcoholic from drinking. None of that stuff has the power to lift his obsession, which is basically the equivalent of making a lunatic sane again, which pretty…

You Really Have to Ask Yourself, Why Not?

I know deep in my heart that there is no miracle drug for addiction, nor can any person, place or worldly thing change us or fix us. We absolutely MUST do the work for ourselves. Only through hard work, faith and courage might we induce a true miracle to occur, and only God Himself can perform such miracles. This I know with every cell in my body.

     So the point of this blog was really just to get people thinking, challenge some perceptions, and to inspire others to employ and engage the prophetical solution contained within the Big Book entitled Alcoholics Anonymous.

     Nine years ago, I had to have others take Steps and witness the relief and spiritual rapture that I myself witnessed while immersed in this process. Today, I have to admit the truth that I don't really care what anybody does or doesn't do. Sure I will continue to share my story and the solution, but there is no compulsion anymore. You really can't chase anybody around, change them, or force them …

Problems Are Self-Created

     Most problems are just a figment of our imagination...

     It is important to remember that our minds belong to us. So often we are misguided and mistaken in holding others responsible for what takes place in our own minds. Trust me, it's better not to have this kind of attitude and thinking. Surely we create many of our problems simply by the way in which we think about them. But we can also sit down next to our problems, become the problem, and work through it. In this way, it isn't really a problem at all. It's just what is, it's just what we're doing, just living life, doing what comes next, and living in each moment without attachment.

     The trick is keeping our minds empty, and we cannot achieve this without consistent practice or repeated action as I like to call it (including non-actions such as stillness etc). No person, place or thing can change us, but we can certainly change ourselves. Unfortunately, most of us won't do the work because mos…

Must-Do List For Clueless Addicts

1)Take Steps & Recover.

2) Never Use Again.

3) Go Buy Flowers For Mom.

4) Walk Forward & Never Look Back.

5) Change The World By Changing Yourself.

Counseling & Medication Doesn't Work, Part 1

It is crucial for addicts, parents and spouses to understand this and not be misled by treatment professionals who don't understand the nature of addiction. Let's face it, if you don't understand addiction, then you don't know what you are treating, let alone how to treat it. Counseling and medication has never truly worked for any really bad addict, and anyone who is really honest (in the deepest possible way) will admit as much.

     The condition of powerlessness cannot be restored via typical human methods. It just isn't possible given the nature of the condition, which is the presence of the mental obsession and a soul that is very sick indeed, a soul that is spiritually bankrupt, starving, and crying out for nourishment. Of course we are all free do whatever we want, just don't be surprised if an addict fails miserably with therapy and medication. In fact, I would expect relapse. And I would definitely expect the addict to remain the exact same perso…

Difference Between a Typical Therapist and a Good Sponsor

This can be summed up with one simple and inspired anecdote, told by the sponsee of a friend of mine.

     "When I tell my therapist about something that pisses me off, he says, 'Yes I can understand why that would make you angry.' When I tell my sponsor about something that pisses me off, he says, 'What was your wrong in the situation? Don't focus on others, focus on yourself.'"

     Beautiful. Clearly God was speaking through this guy, though I'm sure it was lost on everybody else in the meeting.

     God, please teach us not to ask others for answers but to find them ourselves, to focus not on others but rather ourselves, and to blame not others but rather ourselves... 

The Certification Hoax

Just removed the self-seeking list of degrees and certifications from my bio on Amazon etc., as they really have nothing to do with anything, nor do they define, symbolize, or reflect my ability to do anything at all.

     As my wife ponders the pressure she is getting to renew some worthless certification that none of her clients care about anyway, let me explain the whole 'certification' thing. Being certified in counseling, for instance, is NOT a determinant of quality of counselor, effectiveness of counselor, professionalism of counselor, integrity of counselor, or being better educated or equipped as a counselor. Associations, organizations, boards, schools etc. are businesses that co-opt an industry for the sole purpose of commercializing and financializing it.

     The phrase "Certified Counselor" or and other acronym which symbolizes certification in a certain field are made up by these organizations to create a certain perception in the eyes of the coun…


So my job is to tell you the truth and help vaporize the pile of bullshit you've been fed, swallowed and stored up in the attic. What I won't do is lie to you, try to sound smart, or ramble on about shit I know nothing about like your average therapist, addictions counselor, psychiatrist, academic, intellectual, meeting goer, keynesian economist, news anchor, politician, president, government agency, methadone clinic, etc. etc. etc.

I could, however, use a little help with the parents. I can handle the drug addicts and alcoholics but, truth be told, I can't understand POAs as much as I wish I could, as I have no direct experience with that and I've never been deceived and spiritually tortured by anyone to that degree, other than myself of course. Where the heck is Notmyboy? She nailed it and was a fantastic writer. Parents absolutely need to read her and learn from her.
     I used to only censor straight up hate speech, and even that only happened once or twice, b…


So I used to smoke a quarter ounce of indoor kind bud from Humboldt County everyday while my dreadlocks picked up various forms of bacteria and scum from the other delusional lunatics I sat around with in a circle before reggae band practice to bring Jah's message to the people because we were oppressed and downtrodden white boys from gorgeous, affluent North Shore towns of Eastern Massachusetts who were clearly and undoubtedly oppressed by the Babylon system. Now, I realize our government is completely backwards, but if you think smoking pot all day long out of a coconut is a sign of health and virtue, than you definitely need some help. Pot is for jokers.

     Regarding the action of THC, Wikipedia states, "Via CB1 activation, THC indirectly increases dopamine release and produces psychotropic effects. Cannabidial also acts as an allosteric modulator of the mu and delta opioid receptors." But since people only hear either what they want to hear or what they complet…

"Why Are Recovering Alcoholics So Selfish?"

Just came across this search phrase:

     "Why are recovering alcoholics are so selfish?"

     So sad, especially given the entire program of Alcoholics Anonymous warns that untreated and unattended selfishness will kill us whether we are using or not.

     "Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles...  So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible." -Alcoholics Anonymous, p.62
     Selfishness and AA is actually an oxymoron, though you wouldn't know it today. The 12 Steps and selfishness are incompatible, but sadly, mainstream AA today has little to do with showing alcoholics how to recover. The new age of easier, softer ways is infecting newcomers with a sort of wat…

Ingrate Resentment Inventory

"God, help me to see those things that block me from You and Others."

1st Column (who?)


2nd Column (what?)

a. They're ungrateful. And entitled.

3rd Column (Affects my...?)

Affects my: P/A (Pride/Ambition)  SE (Self-esteem) P/SR (Personal or Sexual Relations)

4th Column (How was I...?)

Self-Seeking: I want to be seen as a shining example of tolerance and humility [which I'm not].

Selfish: I want others to think the way I think and be the way I am.

Dishonest: I am without question an ingrate, especially when I was an active addict, and resenting this in others not only reflects it in myself but helps me to avoid taking responsibility for my own lack of gratitude.

Fear: I'm afraid to love others, to love myself.

"My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do Your…

More on Working With Others

From Alcoholics Anonymous, pp.93-94:

     "Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.

     When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Don't raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are.
     Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows. But he will be curious to learn why is co…

Addict Newsflash:

     The degree to which you recover and the degree of relief and inner peace you receive is directly proportional to the amount of right action you take. 

More Laws & Government is Totally Wrong

Just read another blogger who is sort of a Keynesian, big government type who writes that lawmakers are failing to enact laws to keep children safe from opiates. Um, laws can't keep children safe from opiates. In fact, government monopoly protections and manchurian government puppets of the corporate elite are the very reasons why opiates are being produced, marketed and prescribed like Skittles. More laws and more government is the absolute LAST thing we need.

     There is nothing anybody or any government can do to keep people from using drugs and drinking alcohol. It is also human nature to want to do something that some power-hungry idiot tells you not to do. The best way to un-tempt people is to decriminalize drugs and drug use. If you believe that more government and more laws are going to keep kids off drugs and keep kids from overdosing, I'm not sure I can help you. You're asking a collection of ego-maniacal psychopaths to help drug addicts, a group of people…

Don't Listen To Me

You really shouldn't listen to me or anybody else. The best way to get better is to find the answers yourself and figure it out on your own. This is simply my experience as a hopeless alcoholic and drug addict, my seemingly endless journey of failures, and the spiritual solution of the Twelve Steps, which changed my life and the lives of my family members more than words can describe.

     That being said, considering thousands of us have employed this exact program of action and are now completely recovered with amazing lives, I think it matters what we think. Don't you?

     Sure this is tough stuff and it challenges you and your most cherished beliefs, but the proof is in the pudding. You should see before and after pictures of my life - one without God and His principles and a rigorous program of action, and one with. I'll take the 'with' along with the hard work any day.

God, I pray for everybody else to have what I want for myself - peace, serenity, happ…

Wait, Our Genes Should Excuse What?

So our "genetic predisposition" should just excuse...

     Ripping your heart out?

     Being proud that our clever lies and deceptions have worked on you so well?

     Making up stories without so much as a thought of what they might do to others?

     Becoming verbally abusive and fabricating arguments out of thin air because we need an excuse to leave in a huff because we're going into withdrawal and need to go pick up?

     Satisfying ourselves in any way we want and at all costs, even if we leave a trail of victims and broken hearts behind?

     Never being accountable or taking responsibility for anything, ever?

     Never helping, giving, serving, pitching in, being useful, contributing, creating or producing anything?

     Sabotaging every opportunity others have given their time and effort to create for us?

     Burning bridges willingly and with no guilt whatsoever?
     Leeching off of taxpayers for handouts like food stamps and methadone when we are perfectly…

Unfortunate Leniencies of Therapy

"Um, Mom, Dad... it wasn't me. It wasn't my fault that I stole your jewelry and totaled the car while trying to sniff an OC 80 on Interstate 95. It wasn't me, Mom, Dad, 'cause you see, my therapist said it was your fault. I was kinda neglected and shit, guys... you know? You know what I'm sayin, dog?"

     "Uhh, Mom, uhh Dad... I learned in therapy today that I use because I've been a victim of Dad not coming to soccer games and Mom getting an extra job to support the family, so it makes perfect sense for me to use drugs... like... a lot. So, I know you're mad that I got kicked out of school but it's really not my fault. Actually, it's your fault. But I forgive you."

    "Uh, duh... Mom, uh Dad... my therapist said I drink because I'm depressed and angry, and it's most likely from repressed, subconscious fear of abuse I have buried from early childhood or even maybe some psychic scars from a past life yo, soooo... it&#…

Do You Really Want to Recover?

Sadly, the millions who fail, despite what they might tell you, don't really want to get better. They don't really want to change. They are scared shitless to be honest. They are scared to recover and be happy. Happiness is a foreign language to addicts, whereas chaos and misery are our best friends. Failure sets the bar at zero, and then we never have to worry about disappointing people. We never have to worry about becoming too successful and dealing with the risk and discomfort of loss. Truly, we are cowards.

     Any addict who really wants to change, will. Any addict who really wants God and puts Him before anything will be touched.

     I'm sure other alcoholics and addicts, like I did, will tell you all about wanting to change but that it's 'just so hard, and oh you have no idea, and boy if you were me you'd be relapsing left and right as well.' Don't believe him or her because it isn't possible for a human being to be more full of shit.…

Let's Destroy Some Myths

1) Triggers exist.

     Triggers don't exist. Breathing is a trigger. The only trigger that exists is the fact that I'm alive. Triggers, as taught by the mainstream addiction and treatment community, are a myth concocted by people who don't understand what addiction is and have created this idea of triggers out of thin air. Nothing that happens externally causes us to use. We use because we are addicts and we want to use all the time. It is a reflex to drink or use once you become an addict or an alcoholic. Triggers are just flimsy excuses we use to justify or try to rationalize relapse, of which there is no rationalization or justification.
2) Avoiding people, places and things 'that make us want to use' is an effective strategy or (gulp) even a solution.
     This myth assumes that triggers exist, which they do not. Addicts and alcoholics have no idea what they are avoiding because anything and everything has the potential to make them want to use. I feel happy an…