Thursday, May 15, 2014

It's Okay to Suffer

     Addict Newsflash: It's okay to suffer a bit. It's not gonna kill you.

     I don't think triggers exist. I do, however, realize that suffering exists. When we feel RID (Restlessness, Irritability or Discontent) and we go drink or use, we think something has triggered us. Nothing triggers us. We use because either we are afraid to suffer in any way, shape or form, or just because we love using. It's that simple. If you use too much, you become an addict. Anyone can become an addict.

     At any rate, most addicts fail to get better and stay sober because they fail to understand this simple concept, otherwise known as Life on Earth. We suffer in life. Sure we also experience joy and a myriad of other things as well, but it's not all roses and it's not meant to be. Life in a human body is not designed for us to feel comfortable and happy and jammed 24/7.

     I had to not only understand this but embrace it. In fact, my recovery revolves around this concept. I had to begin to welcome the darker aspects of life and walk directly into them with total willingness. That is the only way we become truly solid and strong and recovered. We have to be willing to suffer, just like every other human being on the planet.

     It's okay to suffer and not go whine about it to someone who is dealing with their own crap. It's okay to suffer and not broadcast it on the nightly news. It's okay to suffer and not immediately freak out and make war with it. It's okay to suffer and not run the other way like a child. It's okay to just sit quietly with our suffering and let it be. We understand that it is not only part of us but part of life. We own it.

     Embracing the darkness of life and the darkness within is what builds us a foundation of strength. Suffering without reacting builds character and we become living examples for others that we might help. What right do we have to sponsor others if we cower or relapse when the going gets too rough?

     Finally, being sober and pure is what the spiritual life is all about. When you read some of this new-age, self-help nonsense about states of rapture and practicing this or that because is sends you into lala land, that has nothing to do with living spiritually. The spiritual life is all about facing reality, feeling what we are feeling, being human and experiencing all facets of life soberly. The spiritual life is purity - pure experience and pure reality, without trying to change, alter or control things when we start to feel bad or when things don't go our way.

God, keep me close to You today...

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