"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." - Aristotle
Don't tell my family this, but the #1 reason I got better wasn't them. It probably should have been, but nope. Sorry.
I was sick of being a coward. Sick of being a wimp. Sick of ravaging and murdering my soul. Additionally, I was sick of being selfish. I was sick of being fake. I was sick of being a loser. I was sick of being a victim. I always knew that I was lying to myself and others about being a victim.
Addicts are self-created. If I repeatedly drink and use drugs like an indulgent pig, that's what I become. Conversely, if I repeatedly pray, meditate, love, create and serve, I become a good, useful person. If there is one thing I've learned, it is that we make ourselves into who and what we become. Nobody else is responsible for that. Nothing else is to blame. If I am a success, it's because I made myself a success. If I am a failure, it's because I made myself a failure.
Only through rigorous action, courage and guts will we change. Only by walking directly into our fear and discomfort will we change. We must repeatedly do the opposite of what has brought us down and fueled our addiction. Instead of avoiding discomfort, embrace it. Instead of avoiding pain, face it. Instead if what's easier, do what's tougher. Instead of giving only to ourselves, give to others. Instead of avoiding work, decisions and personal responsibility, work hard, make decisions and take responsibility. Make reality, being human, feeling life and humility your new high.
Life was never meant for us to feel good 24/7, especially when that comes at the expense of others. Life is both up and down, light and dark, joyful and painful. If we want to recover, we can no longer deny what life is and cower from the way things are. Instead we must stand in harmony with reality. If not, our lives, drugs or not, will forever be a constant stuggle, as the angst of trying to fight against truth will never leave us. And always remember, if you want to become something, just repeatedly do it. Trust me, it will happen.
God, please remind me everyday that I am what I make myself...