Showing posts from March, 2014


The single most important weapon for combating addiction is honesty. It is only through rigorous honesty that we may break the chains of delusion and melt away the heaping pile of bullshit we have fed ourselves. Honesty is like a sword, slicing through the very things that keep us ill, including the many false and narcissistic perceptions and beliefs we have amassed, the lies we tell ourselves, and ultimately, the bitter and lonely darkness within.

     Honesty is pure freedom. To be honest is to have chosen to remove the oppressive weight that holds us down. It is how we truly let go and how we repair our broken minds. It is how we move from lunacy to sanity. And by taking this action, we have done our part. This is when God rewards us by removing our shackles. We do the work, and He takes it away. This is why the Big Book makes it very clear that the capacity for honesty is the single requirement to heal. Only those who lack this capacity have very little hope of recovery.


Bill's Story

There seems to be quite a bit of confusion about AA, so let's have Bill Wilson help us out. Remember Bill? He was the guy who envisioned and co-founded AA. It also wouldn't hurt to read some history of AA, from his friend Ebby Thacher's experience with the Oxford Group to the contributions of William James and Carl Jung, and even back to the Washingtonians. And just in case nobody has any interest in reading from the source, here is a nice, succinct summary:

     Trust God. Clean House. Help Others.

From Bill's Story, Alcoholics Anonymous, pp.12-16:

"It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend.
     Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudi…

Altering Projections

Sometimes it feels like negative projection is fundamental to being human. It is like a virus that never goes away, though I can keep the symptoms at bay for a time. It's just one of those insidious things that haunts me day after day after day.

     Sadly, I remain sensitive to seeing in others those things that I once loathed or still loathe about myself. Especially the things I wanted so desperately to rid myself of, such as irresponsibility. I become critical when I see irresponsibility in others. Why? Because I was the epitome of irresponsibility, and this is one of the things I hated most about my old self. Other things I hated about myself were vanity, arrogance, even gregariousness - you know, as if everyone is looking at me, so impressed, but the reality is I'm just loud, obnoxious and embarrassing, as my audience suffers my presence. I hate it when I see that now in others - that fake, narcissistic, cocky charm.

     So how do I get rid of persistent negative pr…

Armed With A Solution

"Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. Strangely enough, wives, parents and intimate friends usually find us even more unapproachable than do the psychiatrist and the doctor.
But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished."
-Alcoholics Anonymous, p.18.

     This is why it's entirely useless for an addict to go talk to a therapist or a doctor about their drug problem. Therapists and doctors don't know what to say and they don't know what to do. They can't instill confidence in us and they can't offer us a solution (that actually works).

     Therapists, doctors and addiction counselors don't instill any confidence in us becau…

Holier Than Thou

It's funny, I went to a place that suggested I smash my pride and arrogance to bits. The notion of Holier Than Thou was to be destroyed and replaced with an attitude of humility, acceptance, kindness and tolerance. Guys I used to meet and share with always highlighted and emphasized the Big Book passage, "We are those who would normally not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful..." as if to proudly show how anyone can come together to share this solution and bring it to others.

     Well, that has changed a bit. Some of us in recovery and in the Steps have formed some fairly exclusive cliques, limited to those who meet certain specifications, and unfortunately, wanting to be involved in sharing and bringing this solution to others isn't one of them. This is what all of us must watch out for in recovery - becoming exclusive, superior, cocky. I've been guilty of it myself. And how com…

Relapse is NOT Part of Recovery

The cliche' goes, "Relapse is part of recovery."

This sort of waiting room wisdom is exactly the kind of nonsense I had to toss out of the window in order to recover from addiction. Adopting this type of attitude, accepting relapse, and letting yourself off the hook is a recipe for death. One obvious reason why such a platitude is so harmful is because addicts LOVE this slogan. Dead giveaway. They love knowing that relapse is part of their recovery, that they can always get jammed if they need to. Ridiculous. What a deranged avenue for addicts to rationalize using.

     This pile of bullshit is brought to you by the powers that be, the mainstream addiction authorities, the status quo of treatment centers, academics, doctors, therapists, social workers and wannabe addiction specialists & counselors who have decided what we are to believe about addiction. I like to call this, 'academic addiction' - that is to say, addiction understood and declared by those …

Death by "Bipolar"

Sometimes my wife and I briefly distract ourselves with the garbage on TV after putting our 2 year-old to bed, and every time we do, I see this shameless ad for a new dangerous and lethal anti-psychotic drug, latuda, for treating "bipolar", originally approved for treating schizophrenia.

     It is estimated that at least 70% of people are misdiagnosed with bipolar, though perhaps it is closer to 100%, as bipolar is largely a hoax. So the psychopaths at Sunovion, a subsidiary of Japanese-based parent company, Dainippon Sumitomo Pharma, are advertising this drug to people with bipolar - 100% of whom may not have any semblance of bipolar. But hey, it's always good to take a powerful anti-psychotic drug used to treat severe schizophrenia when you're feeling a little depressed.

     Even worse, as the entire field of psychiatry becomes infected by corruption, moral decay, and a total lack of insight, psychiatrists (also often psychopaths, or at least complete narcis…


Please note: I'm in the process of deleting duplicate posts, but all original posts are still on the blog, so just do a search if you are looking for one in particular.


     By the way, that prayer at the end of the You Will Not Fail post, 'God make me a better man today', is one I heard from a guy up North. Credit to him for coming up with such a great prayer.

     I used to think that prayer itself was a cop-out. I bristled with annoyance and superiority at the sight of religious people asking God for things. 'Why don't they get off their knees and do it themselves!?' I'd hiss inside. Then in the midst of my own spiritual experience, I witnessed a miracle. Many of them. And now I get it. It's not that I'm asking God to literally perform for me. It's that before I do something, I pray first, and then the action I take is powered by God. I can also leave the outcome to God. Praying before …