Ever try to rehearse or plan something, like say, a speech? Disaster, right? You end up trying to remember what you were going to say, then you can't remember, then you maybe look at some notes but even then, you're already in your head, it's not organic, the whole thing sucks and there is no life or charisma to anything you say. So that's pretty much the opposite of what you want to do.
It's the same thing with recovery. We have to try without trying. Make sense? Sure we do all the work and we do it thoroughly, but the x-factor in getting better is trust. We have to let go of knowing the outcome, knowing if this process we've embarked on will actually work. We must step into the darkness, unsure of where we will land. We must trust in the unknown.
Until we let go, God does not touch us. Addicts have been enslaved by self-will. We are so obstinate. We cannot let go. We have to know everything and do everything by ourselves. Until we leave the actual change up to God, we don't get it. We don't have that vital spiritual experience.
If there is one difference between those who make it and those who do not, it is trust. Trust is faith. Faith that something you cannot see or touch or prove can and will fix you. When an addict becomes willing to let go, then he can touch divinity. At that point, anything it possible.
This is pure knowledge. It isn't us that makes things happen, that gets us better and restores us to sanity. It is the mind-blowing power of our Creator.
God, please help us become willing to let go of self and trust in the unknown...