Addicts are afraid to love... to love ourselves, to love others, to love life.
Our attitude is, Why bother doing anything when we're just gonna die some day, man? I mean who cares, bro, might as well just get drunk or high.
By plying ourselves with drugs and alcohol, we ensure and perpetuate a life of emptiness and failure. By becoming addicts, we eliminate all possibility. We have effectively enslaved ourselves. When you're an active addict, that's all you are. There is nothing else. There is no life beyond drugs and alcohol. It's pathetic. And now we don't have to do anything, to create anything, to give anything, to love anything, to love anyone... because we can't. We have let ourselves off the hook. There are no expectations for us for we have sunk to the bottom where we remain firmly rooted.
If we are to love, we need to first become ready to love. How do we do this? We do this by working tirelessly on ourselves, by using the tools that we have been given in the Steps and in other practical sources of wisdom and knowledge to remove the emotional and spiritual sewerage within. We give everything, we surrender everything to this work. We give 100% of our hearts, minds and souls to this program, to spiritual growth, to God. We must give up everything we think we need to be okay.
We have to let go.
Trust me, we don't need people, places or things to be okay. We simply have to want God more than drugs, and He will come. If you truly want to get better, if you truly want to change, the universe will conspire to make that happen.
What are you waiting for? Start loving. Get better. Set things right. Have a family. Have children. Then you'll see what love truly is, what miracles are, and how amazing it feels.
God, please give me the strength, courage and willingness to love...