Showing posts from January, 2014

Teabag Wisdom

Astonishing the amount of insight that can be amassed from a box of Yogi ginger tea.

 "The art of happiness is to serve all."

     "Trust creates peace."

     "Your life is based on the capacity of energy in you, not outside of you."

     "Obey, serve, love, excel."

     "Chances multiply if you grab them."

     "You only give when you love."

     "The best way of life is to simply be."

God, teach me to apply what I've learned, not just store it uselessly in my head...

Home Depot Inventory

"A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke... We did the exact same thing with our lives. We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced of self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations." -Alcoholics Anonymous, p.64.

     Gee, I'm glad I didn't listen to the guy who ran the Beverly Farms meeting years ago when he stood up from his seat in a fit of rage after I mentioned inventory and the above passage and constructed the following bit of eloquence, give or take. "Listen, I run a friggin' business and lemme tell you, no friggin' God and no friggin' spiritual Big Book step bullshit keeps me sobah! It's this friggin' meetin' and you friggin' guys that keeps me sobah!"

     Um, I know AA is self-governing but I have a hunch that's not the best advice.

"Resentment is the 'number one…

Should Addicts Be Taking Credit?

Who really gets us better?

     I always thought that if I ever recovered, it was ME who got myself better. I couldn't even wrap my head around the idea that something else could fix me, especially something intangible. I could only conceive of my own power. How narrow and limited of me. How small-minded and stupid of me. 
     Addicts love to take credit for every good thing that happens to them, for every accomplishment no matter how minute. They simply can't handle the possibility or even the idea that something else may be responsible for what they have achieved or what they have been blessed with. If they land a great job, it's all them. If they make a bunch of money, it's all them. If they meet a loving, loyal spouse, it's all them. If they are showered with good friends and abundance, then yup, it's all because of them. They create everything... unless it's something negative, of course. Then it's suddenly someone else's fault. This is t…

Smash This Into An Addict's Head

     "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." -Neale Donald Walsch

Internal Authority

Alcoholics and drug addicts lack internal authority.

     That is, they have no authority or control over their emotions, their thoughts, and most unfortunately, their actions. Because we have no internal control, we allow other people, things or events to dictate how we feel. Even more sad, we allow other people or other institutions to make decisions for us and to take care of us.

     This is why we are such a disappointment, because others have to make decisions for us and take care of us financially, physically, emotionally, etc. Having no internal authority over ourselves, we succumb to external authority, and thus, we are slaves. Truly, we active and/or untreated addicts are a waste of precious natural resources, not to mention a waste of a precious life.

     So please do your parents and the already fleeced taxpayers a favor and take care of yourselves. Most of us are plenty talented enough to at least accomplish that. The secret is to become willing and to be a tad more…

Why Take Steps?

Anybody can take Steps, and it's probably not a bad idea. The actions involved in the Step process work to extract the toxic baggage within - the build-up of fear, anxiety, resentment, anger, depression, discontent, dissatisfaction, vanity, arrogance, self-centeredness and selfishness. By extracting negative perceptions, beliefs and behavioral patterns, by smashing attitudes, ambitions, motivations and delusions that have been driving us our entire lives, we become empty and free to allow something better to come in. Once cleaned out, we can become filled instead with humility, sanity, peace, positivity, responsibility, tolerance, other-centeredness and freedom. We can replace the darkness with light, with Spirit.

     Of course, addicts, like most people, will only try something if they know exactly what it is, how it works, and if it will work. We want results, we want them quick, and we want it to be easy. And when we fail, we LOVE to blame anything and everything other t…

Get Over Ourselves

Guess what?

     Even when we are sober, sane, honest and living right, life can get pretty dark, heavy, tough and challenging sometimes. But we walk thought it all, just like everybody else. That is how we get better, how we get stronger. It's how we dissolve character flaws and how we build character.

     Addicts don't get it. Our experience and pain is no more unique than anybody else's. Going through tough times is called life on earth. This is key. We can accept that our life experience is both up and down, and push through it all. This is just what it means to be human. 
     We spend so much time while we're using and even in recovery and especially in meetings talking about our feelings, thoughts, behavior, lives, relationships, what we've done, what we're doing now, and on and on endlessly. Maybe we should consider veering away from the perpetual self-focus. Maybe we should try focusing on others, or even just living our lives without talking abo…

Fundamental Error

     As long as our recovery revolves around focusing on drugs and alcohol, we will never get better...

     Why does conventional treatment fail miserably to fix an addict for any length of time?

     Because they will forever commit a fundamental error. Their belief is that if you are a drug addict or an alcoholic then you must focus on drugs and alcohol to get better. In fact, the more we focus on our drug and alcohol problem, the more we talk about it, the more we treat it with therapy, groups, medications and relapse prevention, the further away from real recovery we get. Sounds backwards, right?

     Actually, the truth is that it's backwards to focus our attention on drugs and alcohol, on our drug and alcohol problem. Our problem has little to do with drugs and alcohol, but for some reason they don't get it. It has nothing to do with triggers, predispositions, the alcoholic allele, our parents, our upbringing, peer pressure, our bio-chemistry, our feelings, thoughts or …

False Solutions

Addicts don't have a drug problem, they have a life problem...

     So we look for solutions until we find drugs and alcohol, which are certainly solutions, just not very good ones. It's not quite accurate to say that addicts always want to feel good. I think the deeper truth is that we just want to be okay. If we were okay, we wouldn't need drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and constant distraction. If we were okay, we would be content with the way things are. If we had peace, there would be no need for drugs and alcohol as a solution. Trust me, if we were filled up inside, if we replaced our emptiness not with drugs but with God, we'd be just fine. That's what I did.

     The reason why so few get better is because they fail to replace their addiction with something as powerful as the drug itself. If we replace our addiction with something as powerful, we will achieve freedom. I replaced, or rather made an attempt to replace my addiction with spiritual principles, …

Letting Go

Letting go is when I no longer care what others think of me. I no longer need the approval of my family. I no longer need approval of who I am, who I'm with, what I believe, what I'm thinking, what I do for work, etc. And I no longer need to preach to others because I am okay with myself.

     When we need to prove or preach something to others, the sad and rather unattractive truth is that we don't entirely believe it ourselves. But if we are okay, inside and out, we don't need to prove anything to anyone. We don't need approval, validation, credit or recognition. 
     The day I let go was the day I stopped caring what other people thought about my life and what I was doing. It was the day I stopped needing for my friends in recovery to see all the stuff I was doing to help others. I didn't need to show off, or need a pat on the back, or need smoke to be blown up my ass. And this is true peace - when you no longer need something outside of yourself to be…


Ever try to rehearse or plan something, like say, a speech? Disaster, right? You end up trying to remember what you were going to say, then you can't remember, then you maybe look at some notes but even then, you're already in your head, it's not organic, the whole thing sucks and there is no life or charisma to anything you say. So that's pretty much the opposite of what you want to do.

     It's the same thing with recovery. We have to try without trying. Make sense? Sure we do all the work and we do it thoroughly, but the x-factor in getting better is trust. We have to let go of knowing the outcome, knowing if this process we've embarked on will actually work. We must step into the darkness, unsure of where we will land. We must trust in the unknown.

     Until we let go, God does not touch us. Addicts have been enslaved by self-will. We are so obstinate. We cannot let go. We have to know everything and do everything by ourselves. Until we leave the act…

Origins of Addiction

Addiction/alcoholism is simply a natural extension of a preexisting spiritual condition.

     Trust me, if we turn ourselves into addicts, there is something wrong with us spiritually. You don't just become an addict because you broke your ankle and some doctor gave you vicodin and now you're an addict even though you don't have that type of personality and so it's pretty much the doctor's and the vicodin's fault. It's nobody's fault. It's our fault.

     We became addicts by selfishly avoiding discomfort. So us getting better must entail endless amounts of action, hard work and humility. We must demolish the belief that we can fix ourselves, that we can do anything because we are so amazing and so cool, so gifted and so genius. We must crush our arrogance and get underneath something. Sure we may be able to do all sorts of other things, but when it comes to drugs and alcohol, we are completely powerless. We have no control. So pretending like …

Afraid to Love?

Addicts are afraid to love... to love ourselves, to love others, to love life.

     Our attitude is, Why bother doing anything when we're just gonna die some day, man? I mean who cares, bro, might as well just get drunk or high.

     By plying ourselves with drugs and alcohol, we ensure and perpetuate a life of emptiness and failure. By becoming addicts, we eliminate all possibility. We have effectively enslaved ourselves. When you're an active addict, that's all you are. There is nothing else. There is no life beyond drugs and alcohol. It's pathetic. And now we don't have to do anything, to create anything, to give anything, to love anything, to love anyone... because we can't. We have let ourselves off the hook. There are no expectations for us for we have sunk to the bottom where we remain firmly rooted.

     If we are to love, we need to first become ready to love. How do we do this? We do this by working tirelessly on ourselves, by using the tools tha…