Sunday, February 3, 2013

False Thinking

     Say a bunch of kids gang up on you, call you names, make fun of you, and brutally shame, humiliate and reject you in front of everybody else. The common thinking has always been that the misery we feel as a result of their cruelty is purely their fault, as it is purely caused by them. In fact, I believe that the way we perceive the cause of our feelings to be a delusion. The truth is that the kids are actually not responsible for my emotional reaction to them ganging up on me (even though they may have wronged me). Who is responsible then?

     I am. (See older posts Resentment & Victim Mentality for greater elaboration.)

     What's so dangerous about this commonly accepted way of thinking is that if we grow up and continue to hold others responsible for the way we feel, we will become spiritually ill (besides becoming narcissistic). We will begin to think of ourselves as victims and eventually let other people, institutions, or the State itself make decisions for us and take care of us. Thinking this way is a big mistake, and it is reflective of a false way of thinking, perhaps on a macro scale.

     We will all make such mistakes (especially me), but the question for addicts is do we want to become better everyday? If we don't or if we simply don't care, then we have no business trying to get sober and no business in the Steps. The people we have spit on, trampled, and stolen from all of these years deserve either all or nothing. Why even bother trying to white-knuckle it if we're still going to be an angry, manic, bored, frustrated, depressed and selfish loser? Who wants to be around that?

     I'm pretty sure our spouses and families don't.

 
God, please rid me of self and make me a better man today... 

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