Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The Privileged Addict, pp.154-155

     “What can I do? I’ll do anything. We’ll do anything. What’s it gonna' take? You name it, any doctor, treatment, medication, rehab, anything. There must be something I can do!”      
     Back then I didn’t know how to tell Mom that there was absolutely nothing neither she nor anyone else could do. There was nothing I could take, nothing I could learn, nothing that could be beaten into me, nothing that all the money in the world could buy that would cure me. My problem wasn’t even really drugs and booze, but what happened to me in their absence. The truth? I was missing something, and it was now time to fill up the abyss. It was time to rely on something other than my fucked up head to guide me through life. It was time to evolve and to learn how to pray. 
     So I took a 3rd Step. I wrote it out on a piece of paper to make sure I did it perfectly, and then met some fellow junkies in the chapel. I brought a pillow for my bony knees because I was still a little wimp. We knelt down and held hands. Sadness overcame me and I began crying as we recited the prayer together.    
     “God, I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!” Alcoholics Anonymous, 63. 
 -TPA, pp.154-155

1 comment:

  1. Charlie, thank you so much for sharing your story! You truly are an inspiration to many people. I'm originally from Gloucester but living in Central America and I just read about your book "The Privileged Addict." I've subscribed to your blog and will order the book online. Again, many thanks to you and best wishes toward your continued success. --Marianne

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