Friday, August 3, 2012

Selfishness Kills

     Selfishness will kill us even in sobriety.

     So will untreated alcoholism, though I suppose there isn't much of a difference.

     My father, whom I loved dearly, was a perfect example. His untreated alcoholism took his life, as his spiritual malady became so great that it manifested itself organically in his brain. He was diagnosed with early-onset dementia and over the course of 10-15 years, his brain gradually degenerated and decayed until he died. Sorry, but you don't get dementia in your 40s. He was a severely depressed, withdrawn, and untreated alcoholic.

     Translation: He was gravely ill spiritually.

     If we don't ever get better from our alcoholic mind and our alcoholic spirit, despite being sober, we will probably die anyway. And chances are that we have already died spiritually, long before our physical death.

     It is therefore more dangerous to get sober and try to live life with a cauldron of demons inside. In fact, you'll probably do more harm as a sober but untreated alcoholic than as an active drinker. And if you do less harm, then the one thing I can assure you is that you will suffer beyond description.

     So there is no point to get sober and simply drag yourself to AA meetings, collect a chip, drink some coffee and listen to stories. As far as I'm concerned, we alcoholics have only one choice: Take steps.

     Translation: Embark on a rigorous program of spiritual action that will effect real and lasting change within us. Do enough work to get close enough to God to fundamentally change our minds, our attitudes, and our lives. If we get sober and don't change, we are dead. If we get sober but don't change completely, we are dead. But if we get sober and go to any lengths to change, then we become free forever and come to witness untold miracles in our lives...

God, I humbly ask you to rid me of the spiritual poison of self and selfishness...

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