Saturday, July 21, 2012

Anger

     Anger is a lack of purpose...

     Some punk kid called me a prick the other day after wrecking one of our apartment doors, so I pretty much lost it. The best is that I didn't react at first, but upon further reflection, or rather lack thereof, I let him have it. I just couldn't let it go.

     Anger is a code word, like depression. Underneath depression is anger. Underneath anger is grief, and underneath grief is spiritual imbalance. Spiritual illness often results from a lack of purpose. If I'm on the wrong path, I am spiritually ill. If I'm on a path that doesn't serve anyone, I am spiritually ill. And if I have found the right path of service but stop serving for a while, I become spiritually ill.

     Conversely, when I am giving of myself, I don't get angry. When I am working with others, I don't get angry. When I am speaking, writing, meditating and praying, I don't get angry. When I am constantly taking actions that bring me closer to God, I don't get angry.

     We addicts should never retreat from life, from others, from reaching out. We should never isolate and become consumed by self. Service is by far the greatest gift we have been given.

God, help me to let go of my anger, fear, resentment and self-loathing...

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