Monday, June 25, 2012

Fear Inventory


(Also see Resentment, Resentment Inventory, Resentment Inventory Example and Sex Inventory.)

     Fear is selfish. It prevents me from being useful and from growing spiritually. I thought it was real and that feelings might actually kill me. But by avoiding things that scared me, the fear grew stronger. So to deflate it, I do the exact thing that frightens me. If I fear confrontation, I confront. If I fear public speaking, I speak publically. If I fear intimacy, I become intimate. To conquer it, do it. Doing it vaporizes the fear and gradually the action in question becomes easier. Someone told me once that I don’t have to let feelings stop me. Guess I managed to block that out for a while.

     Fear inventory. The instructions are: a) write down each fear I’ve ever had, b) write why I fear each one c) dig deeper to find why I really fear each one, and d) figure out why it’s selfish to have that fear. The task was to peel away and uncover what was really underneath my fears.
Here are some basic examples:

1st Column – Fear               
Spiders
2nd Column – Why do I fear this?
They freak me out.                 
3rd Column – Why do I really fear this?                            
They make me act like a wimp.          
4th Column – How is this fear selfish?                                          
I kill them so I don’t have to feel uncomfortable.                   

1st Column – Fear
Public speaking
2nd Column – Why do I fear this?
It makes me self-conscious.
3rd Column – Why do I really fear this?
I have to step outside my comfort zone.
4th Column – How is this fear selfish?
I refuse to speak publically even though it may help others.

1st Column – Fear
Becoming Dad
2nd Column – Why do I fear this?
I’m prone to depression.
3rd Column – Why do I really fear this?
I fear what others think of me.
4th Column – How is this fear selfish?
Time spent thinking about this is time I’m not spending helping and loving Dad.

God, show me how my fear is selfish, and teach me that fear is a self-created illusion...

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