Friday, November 21, 2014

Privileged Addict Quotes 3

     This is the third installment following Privileged Addict Quotes and More Privileged Addict Quotes. If you want to know how I think and the mindset that has annihilated my addiction, these are really the only three posts you need to read. Enjoy.

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"Hitting bottom occurs when we can no longer lie to ourselves. Getting better occurs when we can no longer lie to others."

"The reward in not being an addict is not being an addict."

"I started getting better when I started hearing what I didn't want to hear and doing what I didn't want to do."

"Being recovered has nothing to do with what I've learned or read or blabbed on and on about with a therapist. How ridiculous the notion that we can talk our way into recovery, when all addicts do is talk." 

"Who and what we are is the sum of what we do. We do not talk or study or pill-pop our way into recovery. We act our way in."
"Psychotherapy and addiction don't mix, as the fabrication of reasons is totally counter-productive."

"Words and ideas are but dormant seeds - devoid of power unless grown and cultivated via rigorous and repeated action."

"Relapse is NOT part of recovery. That's the whole point of recovery. You don't relapse. This sort of waiting room wisdom is exactly the kind of nonsense I had to toss out of the window in order to recover from addiction. Many people don't understand that cliche's and catch phrases like this are designed by treatment centers, treatment professionals and pharmaceutical companies to peddle products and services to addicts and their families."

"The term 'miracle drug' is an oxymoron, as miracles only occur in the absence of drugs. Drugs such as methadone and suboxone are incompatible with miracles." 

"Drugs, regardless of class, are the antithesis of the spiritual life. True spirituality is about facing reality and living in it. To make an insane drug addict sane again requires quite the opposite of dissociating from reality."

"To self-medicate is to push oneself away from God. God, despite what the psychedelic community might tell you, is non-existent when using drugs. Only in the light of of sobriety, purity and reality can God be touched."

"Clinicians believe the implied scientific notion that a lack of dopamine must be met with more dopamine, and this approach is one of the primary causes of addicts failing in recovery."

"It is precisely our addiction to comfort that must be dissolved in order to accept life as it is, on life's terms, as a human being that suffers from time to time."

"Many addicts never employ the solution because that would actually involve some work."

"This new age nonsense of breaking the stigma, absconding responsibility, blaming the disease and putting our arms around the addict is simply causing us to smirk inside, knowing that we have, once again, successfully manipulated you."

"Trust me, any opiate addict telling you they are just going to smoke pot from now on = guaranteed relapse."

"The bottom line is that pot gets you high as shit. When we smoke pot we are erecting a brick wall between us and getting better, between us and clarity and honesty, between us and sanity, between us and God. Mood-altering drugs push us away from mental and spiritual health and true wellness."

"You can tell ourselves whatever you want to, but that doesn't change the fact that pot is a drug and it is affecting your brain, and you will suffer when you run out. Ayn Rand brilliantly said, 'You can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.'"

"You just simply cannot give up and you cannot stop moving forward. There is no secret, no complex modality, no miracle drug and no special new formula. The answer is simple: hard work and God."

"I am grateful for my addiction, for I would never have the amazing life and access to the spiritual realm had I not suffered the dirty depths of opiate addiction and instead drifted aimlessly through life as your average, clueless, mundane zombie."

"The idea that there are solutions for addiction that do not require work and other-centeredness fails to account for the very problem we are suffering from." 

"The status quo continues to deny the spiritual nature of addiction and the moral necessity of recovery and therefore, we are beginning to see addiction and our selfish behavior rationalized and even justified under the guise of the disease model."

"Science and kindness do NOT change addicts. Guess what's going to happen when you're cooking us dinner and humming Kumbaya as you stir our naltrexone into the Chicken Madeira? We're going to be in the other room robbing you blind and patting ourselves on the back for so cleverly manipulating and deceiving the shit out of you, once again."

"Real kindness and real love is not allowing an addict to continue lying to themselves... and then showing them a solution that actually works."

"Make no mistake that the lies an addict tells himself are the primary ingredients of a lethal overdose."

"Compassion doesn't work for drug addicts, so don't waste your time. Addicts need to be shredded and humbled beyond belief... and then built back together one spiritual brick at a time."

"This is the silver bullet of the Steps. When all else fails, GO WORK WITH OTHERS. It will heal you. It is like injecting spiritual medicine. You can inject science or you can inject God. You can inject poison or you can inject love. The choice is yours."

"If we fail to equip our sponsee with the proper tools and lay down the path to spiritual freedom, there is no point in sponsoring anyone. Today, the millions of AA goers and our communist friends in Hollywood have turned AA into a cliche' - the meeting room, the sad story, the sobriety chip, and the sponsor who gabs away on the phone and drags his sponsee to a meeting after confidently delivering the only advice he has: 'You need a meeting, pal.'"

"If all you've done is gone to meetings, you haven't actually tried AA. Meetings are about 1% of what AA is... if that."

"Becoming an addict is simply the result of multiple voluntary acts of selfishness."

"Pre-addict, it is a choice. Post-addict, it is no longer a choice."

 "Enabling warps your perception and over time you cannot tell what's up or down, left or right, true or false. What you've done by enabling is effectively disabled yourself from being able to help the addict, as you gradually lose the ability to see things clearly and honestly."

"Enabling is a moral hazard. It feeds, fuels and thus perpetuates the very behavior you want to eradicate. It sends the message to the addict that we can continue to use or drink or do whatever the fuck we want because you will ALWAYS take us back and shower us with love, food, shelter and money."

"What could be worse for a drug addict than validating what we do, albeit indirectly?"

"If you let us, I promise you with every fiber in my being that we will rip your heart out and suck you dry until you are bleeding out - a ravaged, withering carcass left out in the cold. I'm not saying we want to do that to you, but I'm saying that we will because we are lunatics whose addiction comes first before anything and anyone. Our #1 love on this earth is not you, it is heroin et al. Everything is secondary to our addiction. This you must never forget."

"If someone around you is a complete disaster, the bar has been set pretty low, and some codependents feed off of that. Us being sick makes you the hero, and empowers you in a maladaptive way. The enabler may get something out of being the caretaker, and uses the illness to conveniently avoid themselves. Our addiction is your bridge to insanity."

"The twisted irony is that we don't want to stop until we can't stop."

"To be an effective counselor, you simply have to know yourself. If you understand yourself, you can help anybody."

"Treat the core of the addiction and the chemistry in your brain changes."

"We don't have a drug problem, we have a life problem. We have a purpose problem. Simple logic thus dictates that we must be treated spiritually and given a purpose."

"Treatment professionals treat the symptoms (a temporary band-aid) whereas the spiritual program of action of the twelve steps treats the core disease. The point is that drug addicts need more talking and more drugs about as much as they need to speedball heroin and crack into their eyeballs."

"Problems are self-created."

"Addicts think that simply being human makes it appropriate to use drugs."

"We addicts somehow believe that our experience is novel, but everybody suffers. It's called being human."

"Another delusion we have is that strong or painful or uncomfortable feelings are tangible, evil forces that can and will stop us, and might even kill us! Nonsense."

"An addict is simply a child in an adult body."

"Once we figure out that life includes both emotional suffering and physical discomfort, and once we figure out that we are no different from the 7 billion other human beings on earth, we can grasp the practical idea that feelings don't have to stop us. Addicts must accept the fact that it's okay to suffer. As well, we must stop resisting the way we feel. What we resist will persist. We must accept and befriend our negative feelings, understanding that they are part of us. In this way, they move along and eventually dissipate without crippling us."

"Just reject everything that makes you an addict."

"If an addict rolls into treatment, talks to a doctor, gets slapped with a few disorders and put on a pile of powerful psychotropics right away, we will never know how much of his mental illness was purely drug-induced and how much of it was residing separately from the addiction. You may end up drugging the living shit out of someone who doesn't even need to medicated. Why make a zombie out a perfectly capable, talented and charismatic human being?"

"Any recovery that is assisted by other drugs will have cracks in it. Think building a foundation. If someone lends you a few cinderblocks and then takes them away once you are done building, your foundation will have some rather large holes in it."

"There is no such thing as a drug that can effectively reduce cravings, or obsessions rather, as cravings refer to the physical process of withdrawal. Once we are cleaned out, there are no cravings."

"There is no reducing obsessions via pharmaceutical intervention, and drugs that claim to do this are just placebos. It has always amazed me the degree of ignorance among the medical community when it comes to addiction. And more important than getting too deep into that is the fact that any drug we take to aid our recovery will negate that portion of our recovery. In other words, we will fail to accomplish for ourselves what the drug has accomplished for us. Drugs of this nature in fact rob us of our recovery."

"Showering an addict with love is equivalent to trying to kill them."

"To hold an addict's hand is to cripple and paralyze them."

"Treat us instead like you would treat any addict who is robbing you blind. Look, it'd be great to have a normal relationship with us, but you can't... until perhaps we find God and become free."

"Drugs and medication can't undo what we have done. Given the nature of our transgressions, we have to manually undo what we have done."

"If an addict refuses to lift a finger, even if the addict will give 99% but not 100%, there is a 100% failure rate. But if the addict gives 100% to growing spiritually and getting rid of self, there is a 100% success rate."

"Let me help everyone understand what facts are. Facts are RESULTS. Facts are people who have recovered entirely from a seemingly hopeless condition. Facts are not people who are drugged up to maintain the facade of recovery and physical sobriety just to make data sets look good, or get parents of your back, or get the doctor paid, or get some drug sold by the pharmaceutical."

"Addicts are cursed (or rather, not cursed) to only achieve freedom and health through rigorous hard work, guts, honesty, humility, fearlessness, service and selflessness."

"Medication doesn't cure mental illness or chemical imbalance, it simply manipulates them temporarily. How is that so different from drug addiction? Have we really solved our problem, or have we simply become enslaved by our pharmaceutical regimen?"

"Do you know how many psychotic breaks we could have in this country if supply chains were suddenly disrupted in an economic collapse and millions of people on psychotropics were suddenly robbed of their artificial neurotransmitters? I would def stay inside your house as the 'purge' begins."

"Your brain chemistry is not static - it changes all day long, all week long, all year long, all century long...  kinda like the climate."

"Dual-diagnosis is a hoax."

"Addiction is a spiritual illness. The physical disease and mental component of addiction are symptoms of an underlying spiritual malady, NOT the other way around. The physical and mental disease of addiction does not bring on our soul sickness, our soul sickness brings on the physical and mental disease of addiction. Very few understand this. Nobody is born a drug addict. We turn ourselves into drug addicts. Nobody who is okay inside and okay on a spiritual level mutates themselves into a drug addict. Instead of blaming our genes like so many like to do to excuse themselves, perhaps we should take some responsibility."

 "If we become so disgusted by drugs and alcohol, by what they do to us and to others, we will repel them viciously as instruments of pure evil and never even think about picking up again. All we have to do is care deeply and profoundly about the consequences of our actions and we will be free from drugs and alcohol forever."

"Nothing will help an addict recover more than really wanting it."

"There is no point to dwell on all kinds of traumatic events in therapy year after year. We deal with our past and we move on. What we do from this point forward is by far more important than looking backwards. While internal analysis may be interesting and provide some insight, it is action that really changes people and cements their recovery, not analysis."

"The twelve step process doesn't fail anybody. It is we who fail ourselves, and it is we who fail the twelve steps."

"Drugs and addiction do not possess us. We possess drugs and addiction."

"Psychiatry promotes the myth that you need medication to recover from certain maladies or disorders in an effort to maintain relevance and remain employed, to justify exorbitant fees, and to secure a presumed position of but empty prestige."

"I can't help but equate therapy with paying for a good friend. Why not save the money, call a buddy and go get some coffee?"

"Anything that humbles an addict is good for him or her, and faith is the greatest form of humility that exists."

"Anyone who is an addict, who lives with an addict, or who loves an addict eventually understands that addiction is a spiritual malady, and it is usually quite deep."

"Addressing addiction scientifically fails to remove our condition of insanity."

"Considering addicts are essentially preoccupied with self and self-comfort, the trick is to be okay without depending on this adjusted homeostasis, if you will, the condition of needing above-normal amounts of dopamine to be okay."

"Watered down AA is the result of a macro decline in our culture."

"Recovering from drugs and alcohol is the process of growing up and becoming an adult."

"People who love to shit on success and those who actually work, create, produce and start businesses are generally those who have failed themselves, have never owned a business and have no respect for human talent, skill, perseverance, innovation and individualism."

"Why is sobriety something to be celebrated when nobody should become an addict to begin with? Why is becoming normal and non-abusive again something that deserves praise and recognition? Isn't that the wrong message to send to a group of people who are trying to rid themselves of self-pity, delusion, arrogance and grandiosity?"

"Um, no, I don't celebrate anniversaries. Addiction and alcoholism is something to be left in the dust as we continue to run the other way, forward, and begin to amass 'actual' life accomplishments."

"Avoiding changes and challenges cripple us."

"The degree to which we change is directly proportional to the action we take. Recovery is not a function of time or clinical application. It is a function of what actions we take and at what frequency we take them."

"When we give ourselves to God, we are essentially giving ourselves to the cultivation of, and the obedience to our conscience."

"When I understood that my previous life was guided by an impulsive and narrow frame of mind based on fear, pride, arrogance, insecurity and self-will, it was then I also realized that getting better involved the removal of this frame of mind."

"The view from inside an addict is very narrow and narcissistic."

"What a travesty that God has been replaced with methadone."

"We need not make any apologies for our relationship with God, as it is the single most important thing in our lives."

"Addiction isn't complicated and neither is the solution. You just need some guts."

"You have to remember that while having a broken body and an abnormal reaction to drugs and alcohol is a permanent situation, having a broken mind and being powerless is a temporary situation."

"When an active addict tells you they are a really spiritual person, you are dealing with someone who is suffering delusions of grandeur. " 

"Just walk right through it. Walk through the pain. Walk through the fear. Walk through the depression. Walk through the endless thoughts and the heavy feelings. Walk through it like a warrior and God will reward you."

"Addiction is a consequence of doing the wrong thing, while recovery is a consequence of doing the right thing."

"Addicts must continue to employ the false solution of drugs in an attempt to mask the damage they are doing to their conscience."

"We must never abscond addicts and alcoholics from their behavior by falsely dismissing it as some uncontrollable symptom of our illness. That very notion is just plain bullshit, needless to say."   

"Most people in AA are not alcoholics."

"The true alcoholic is powerless over alcohol. When we are truly powerless, meetings and fellowship and sponsors and sobriety coins and slogan recitation and putting chairs away and stuff cannot keep us sober. It's all good and well, but none of it can keep a true alcoholic from drinking. None of that stuff has the power to lift his obsession, which is basically the equivalent of making a lunatic sane again, which pretty much requires nothing short of a miracle that is earned through rigorous internal work in which the addict's heart, soul and brain are completely rearranged and fundamentally altered."

"The other night, a woman in my friend's group said how the key to recovery is time, though nothing could be further from the truth. She was a sweetheart, but not a real alcoholic. For a real alcoholic, recovery is not a function of time at all. Time gets us worse, not better. Time is only worth as much as the actions we take during said time."

"Believe me, regardless of how sweet and talented and innocent you think you are or you think your child is, every addict in the world puts considerable effort into destroying their bodies and their minds enough to cross that line and become an addict."

"Counselors who tell you to avoid triggers have no clue. Once you let me out of my cage, guess what happens?"

"There is no such thing as co-occurring disorders. They're all essentially the same thing and manifest from the same underlying core disease, which is spiritual."

"Drug addiction can cause depression but depression doesn't cause drug addiction." 

"The truth is that the Twelve Steps are not really about alcohol and drugs but about clearing a way and delineating a practical path to God."

"Trust me, if you haven't actually done a thorough and fearless Twelve Step program the way its laid out in the Big Book, you truly have no idea what it really is. It is an unfathomable amount of work and it is a life-changing process. The things you have to do, the depths you have to plumb, the faith and trust you must have, believe me, it is stomach churning, mind-bending, and ultimately soul-freeing."

"Sure it's a disease and sure we might be sad, but it's a disease we gave to ourselves by using too much, and about the sad thing, we're also pretty selfish... and oh yeah, everybody's sad."

"Human shame [and perhaps sadness] is a universal epidemic. Addicts and alcoholics have no monopoly on shame."

"Being certified in counseling is NOT a determinant of quality of counselor, effectiveness of counselor, professionalism of counselor, integrity of counselor, or being better educated or equipped as a counselor."

"The humility of feeling powerless over drugs and alcohol is truly one of the best things that can happen to a drug addict or an alcoholic."

"The Big Book says the knowledge of God is in our make-up as human beings. I believe we all know that God Is on some level, even the atheists and the silly agnostics out there. To deny God is really to deny your human being, your existence. And forget about addiction and alcoholism because that, my friends, may be the most precarious position of all."

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Do You Want The Truth?

*SPECIAL NOTE: The deal is, my better half will no longer be sanctioning me writing emails and blogs and talking on the phone and helping people all day long without there being some minimal value to it for the rest of our family, hence, the (optional) new private phone/email services. I already do education and counseling sessions in person locally, but this online service merely exists for those who are long-distance and who are seeking individual advice, insight, education and limited referrals. Thank you for understanding, and God bless you.

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     You know that feeling you have when you hear the truth? It sort of rings throughout your entire being like a perfect melody or chord. We call that harmony. You know when you have heard or seen the truth because you can feel it deep within and you become clear. Well that is how I feel about the following statement.

     Addiction is a consequence of doing the wrong thing, while recovery is a consequence of doing the right thing. For some reason, harmful and immoral behavior especially effects alcoholics and addicts. It ravages and wreaks havoc on the soul, and that is a perfect recipe for drug addiction. If I fail to understand this, I will never be able to recover or to help others recover. It is absolutely crucial to understand the connection between addiction and doing the wrong thing.

     Addicts must continue to employ the false solution of drugs in an attempt to mask the damage they are doing to their conscience. An addict in the thick of it is a tortured soul, writhing in psychic pain, delusional, warped, abusive, probably experiencing frequent and terrifying nightmares.

     The connection between using drugs and alcohol and what it does to the soul and the conscience of a person must be respected at all costs. To repair an addict, to either suddenly or gradually remove his addiction, i.e. his mental insanity, his conscience must be restored, and thus his soul. This you must understand. An addict must repair himself morally if he or she plans on ever achieving freedom and serenity.

     Addiction is synonymous with doing the wrong thing. Healing and recovery is synonymous with doing the right thing. One of the wisest things you can know about addiction is how little it has to do with the physical or scientific aspects - i.e. trying to reduce cravings, getting the brain chemicals just right, getting the relapse prevention meds just right, getting the externals just right, getting the relationships just right, getting the trigger avoidance plan just right, etc - when the only treatment for the physical allergy is pure abstinence.

     By doing this, you are essentially leaving the ADDICT WITHIN completely in tact and trying to cure something that is intangible by manipulating physical symptoms and what lies outside of us.

     The truth is that our primary problem is not physical. It is mental. It is emotional. It is spiritual. Whether you want to see the truth or not, it doesn't matter, as you can ignore reality, but you cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality (Ayn Rand). So please, if you want to help an addict, you must help them to understand that they have been doing the wrong thing, and that the antidote for addiction is to begin doing the right thing.

     If we are completely insane, we must be cleared out first, and this is exactly what the Steps are for. They restore us so that we are able to begin doing the right thing. The restore us so we can think, speak and act sanely again. To cure insanity, you don't treat the symptoms of insanity. You must cure the very insanity itself. Trust me, the primary issue with addiction is NOT physical.

     Addiction is without question a moral problem. This is just as much a fact of reality as the world is round. We addicts have crushed our conscience and we hate that, so we employ the most selfish, physically comforting and false solution that exists (drugs and alcohol) to mask the effects of destroying our soul. But when that band-aid is torn off, watch out. No medication will stop what is about to erupt. And thus the insanity, a defense mechanism, if you will, kicks in and we are taken over by an obsession, an irrational thought, and we relapse.

     The only way to keep an addict sober is to cure his or her insanity. And then the only way to stay that way is to take actions that keep us sane. These actions must be moral or spiritual in their nature. If you want the truth, that is it. Addiction is a consequence of doing the wrong thing, while recovery is a consequence of doing the right thing.

     So we must never abscond addicts and alcoholics from their behavior by falsely dismissing it as some uncontrollable symptom of our illness. That very notion is just plain bullshit, needless to say.

Spirituality Is Not About Rapture


     "Then six months into recovery, I came flying off the pink cloud I was perched upon. I don’t know why, but suddenly I came crashing down emotionally. It was the makings of a depression and I was absolutely terrified. I mean, I thought I was okay… so what’s all this about? I had a spiritual experience and a psychic change. Isn’t life going to be perfect from now on?

     But this is the great test of the spiritual life. Am I going to keep doing this work even though it doesn’t give me some spiritual charge anymore, even though I feel mundane and human and sometimes even depressed? The mistake was that I had become attached to feeling good even in sobriety. I used tools solely meant to keep me sane in order to get high in sobriety. I couldn’t or wouldn’t do things that were good for me or for others just for the sake of doing them, just because they were the right things to do.

     I began to realize that spirituality wasn’t about trying to achieve constant rapture. Nope. Spirituality was about facing reality and being human. It was about feeling all facets of life, whether happy, sad, angry, lonely, good day, bad day, whatever day. So I pushed myself harder and refused to let feelings stop me. The inevitable result was that for the first time EVER, I evened out. It was the beginning of real strength. No more too high or too low. No more holes or cracks in my foundation. No longer just a flimsy shell. No longer insecure and ashamed of being a person. I stood with my feet on the ground. I could look life in the eye." -
The Privileged Addict, pp. 189-190:     

God, help us to walk through it all with courage and grace...