Saturday, May 28, 2016

Why Addicts Can't Stay Sober


1) The mental obsession. A mere sober addict is still completely insane and subject to relapse. Sober-only addicts will experience thoughts to drink or use that do not respond to ration or reason. We can, however, remove this obsession through spiritual action and achieve lifelong sobriety, free from the danger of relapse. But if we don't change, if we don't restore ourselves to sanity and re-acquire the power of choice, we have no chance in hell.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Does Praying for Others Really Work?


Comment: 

     Hi Charlie, how do you pray for others? It's not that I don't believe in God but it seems that prayers for my daughter and myself are missing something. I don't feel the connection to God. Is it the same prayer so you can connect more deeply? Is it just anything that comes to your mind? I feel numb after dealing with my daughter's addiction for the last 14 years.

Any Thoughts on Sex Addiction?


Comment:

     Dear Charlie, I have been married to a recovering alcoholic for 12 years, together for 22 years. When we have been to couples counseling he always gets pats on the back for his alcohol recovery. 6 months ago it came out in a terrible way that he has been using the internet for porn, cyber sex, chatroom sex, phone sex. He had an affair with a coworker to boot. I will spare you the details- but the cyber stuff has been on and off for our whole marriage. The dishonesty is stunning and devastating. His behavior looks like addiction, acts like addiction and has no moral compass like addiction. He wants to do couples therapy. He has convinced his counselor that this is relationship problem. We've done this before - and clearly it didn't change anything-- it all got worse. From my point he behaves like an addict and I don't want to do couples therapy unless he is in recovery- like you write- with his actions. I am not sure if I can reconcile with him or if I want to but I do want to forgive him. I admire Desmond Tutu's approach to forgiveness- and I like how you are a hard ass about action. Do you have any thoughts or writing on sex addiction and recovery in the context of other addictions? Thank you so much for your strong voice in this field.

The Macro Situation



     "External power (the opposite of internal or spiritual power) is simultaneously the most desired yet worst thing for human beings. The men and women with the most power in the world also have the sickest souls and must commit the gravest of sins to maintain their power, which they will only willingly cede over their dead bodies. Power is the heroin of the psychopath. Heroin is for cowards, but power is for confident, narcissistic psychopaths who worship only themselves and refuse to bow before anything, especially God."

Comment:

I'm really enjoying your commentary and ideas on addiction. Everything else? Not so much ;)

Response:

Lol, well how very gracious and tolerant of you to at least grant me my opinion on addiction ;)

Let me explain a few things to you.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Things I've Learned.

 

1) Action begets more action.

     I often feel suffocated by the increasingly clueless establishment view of addiction and recovery. This is why it's good to unplug once in a while and take extended breaks from media etc., especially when it seems everything is scripted in some way to promote a bias that often benefits the messenger or his friends and is destructive to its recipients. At any rate, there is always some new 'cutting edge' approach to addiction, some new miracle drug (oxymoron), some new epiphany that will explain everything and finally fix every addict in the world. Most of the stuff people send me actually gives me a headache. I've stated previously that the scientific credo known as Ockham's Razor (among competing hypotheses, the one with the fewest assumptions should be selected) is now constantly violated. The point is that recovery is very simple, and the secret is really no secret at all. It's called:

     Hard work.

Monday, May 16, 2016

The Votes Are In: Addicts Are Selfish People

 
 
     Took some screenshots for you throughout the week (privileged addict searches omitted). Is anyone out there really going to keep up with the farce that addicts are not morally challenged? Selfishness at the expense of others is a moral failure. Continuing to use once we lose control is a moral failure. I think it's time to admit what is so glaringly obvious. Hey, don't take my word for it, listen to the people. See for yourself...

In Defense of Addicts, Well, Sort of...


     In "Get an Addict Better," I tried to lay out some macro-incentive for addicts to recover, above and beyond the built-in incentive we have to stop hurting those who love us, especially our parents. At any rate, the post "Why Alcoholics Hurt People" is well read and has become a comment forum for many to express grievances, many of which I'm sure are justified and somewhat rational. However, let's look at some recent comments from both an alcoholic and a codependent... and then my reply. I don't usually reply on that post because there is really no point. Many simply come to read the comments, go off a bit and then take off, but today I felt as though I should chime in briefly for what is hopefully an appropriate interference.