Friday, August 28, 2015

Book: The Privileged Addict Quotes

     Below is the cover to a new book, The Privileged Addict Quotes, which contains over 120 pages of insights and knowledge from years of writing about addiction and recovery, including some new quotes and passages. I hope you will find this useful personally or as maybe an anti-bullshit gift to an addict, alcoholic, spouse, parent or friend in your life. The book will be out on Amazon, iTunes, Barnes & Nobles and everywhere else shortly. For now, clicking on the image below will take you to my Lulu spotlight page where you can pick it up. Following the book cover, I have pasted the back cover caption for you to take a look at. 

     By the way, the other book I'm working on, Anybody Can Take Steps, will be out this fall. The book will universalize and break down the Step process for anybody, addict or not. It will describe and detail the incredible actions and tools contained within the Steps in an effort to help people better understand and utilize this process and its great wisdom. Finally, the Twelve Steps are simply one of many ways to grow spiritually, and I have used the subject in this book to segue into timeless wisdom that we can use to free us, calm us, and bring us peace and prosperity, both within and without.

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/capeabody3

“Recovery is not a function of time. It is a function of
what actions we take and at what frequency we take them.” 
   

To truly understand addiction and recovery, we must step outside the box of the status quo and challenge conventional wisdom. We must look deep within and challenge ourselves. We must observe reality and see things as they are. Addiction and alcoholism will contort and confuse the mind of not only an addict, but a sane loved one just the same, so this collection of ideas, concepts, passages and quotes from my years of writing about addiction is for both fellow addicts/alcoholics and the countless loved ones out there who have stuck by us and loved us unconditionally while we remained preoccupied with ourselves and our comfort.
    
     This book will help take what is a dark and painful subject and shine a light on it. Needless to say, these are just words on a page and can never be equated with pure action. We must not simply read but must work hard if we are to effect real and lasting change, if we are to build an inner reservoir of peace and strength, if we are to achieve escape velocity and enter a new world of freedom. Please share this book with those in need, and may these words find use wherever they land. Thank you.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

My Daughter Hasn't Made All of Her Amends. This Concerns Me.

Comment: 

My daughter has made amends to some, but not all. This concerns me. 

Response:
 

Yes, that should concern you. Rarely, if ever, have I seen anyone be successful without making all of their amends. This step in particular is what separates the men from the boys [and the women from the girls]. It is where we find courage and begin to give back. For me, completing all of my amends was absolutely essential and paramount to building a solid foundation. I wouldn't be who or where I am today if I left some of them out. I will pray she finds the willingness to complete them and continue her spiritual growth. 

*

From August 5, 2012

     Someone once asked me about one of her amends. I told her she needed to make it. She said,

    "But this f'ing bitch was way more of an f'ing bitch than I was."

      First of all, wanh, wanh, wanh... do you want a pity-pot to cry in? I didn't say that, although it would have been a good idea. I told her to first pray for this person until she no longer cares about what she did. She said, 

     "I will never pray for her other than to pray she rots in hell."

     Oh, okay. So then why the hell are you asking me for advice when you aren't really serious about getting better? Why bother doing any amends at all if you're going to leave out the ones where someone else wronged you too? I told her that she is not willing to go to any lengths to get better and that ultimately she will relapse. And she did. Two weeks later.

     99.9% = 0%.

     If we plan on recovering from alcoholism and addiction, we must give 100% and we must never leave anything out. Sure others are flawed, but it's not about them. If someone has wronged us but we owe them an amends as well, we better make it and not expect a single thing in return.

     So why do we have to make ALL of our amends, other than because we have wronged others and it's the right thing to do? We make them because if we don't, we will drink again. If we cannot swallow our pride and make an amends to someone who has also wronged us, we have no business in the Steps. Once we take that 3rd Step and make a pact with God, we are entering mystical territory. At that point, if we walk away, bad things will happen. Trust me. I see it all the time.

God, please give me the power, strength and willingness to make all my amends, and to continue making amends if and when I hurt others going forward...

Monday, August 24, 2015

Physical vs Mental Powerlessness

     To avoid confusion, we must distinguish between mental and physical powerlessness...

     To put it simply, we are physically powerless once we start drinking or using drugs and they enter our system. Addicts and alcoholics are physically powerless for LIFE and will experience the phenomenon of craving (a physical event) every time we drink or use. There is no getting around our physical powerlessness. You can turn a non-addict into an addict, but there is no turning an addict back into a non-addict, physically speaking. Recovery groups who preach the idea of future moderate use for true addicts and alcoholics are completely insane.

     Active addicts and alcoholics, as well as sober yet untreated addicts and alcoholics, are mentally powerless until they have regained the power of choice, i.e. their willpower. When we get sober, we continue to suffer from what's known as the "mental obsession", which refers to thoughts or ideas (about drinking or using) that do not respond to ration or reason. In other words, the addicted mind is insane, and remains that way until it is restored through consistent right action and enough spiritual growth to induce a fundamental psychic change whereby guiding principles, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that have haunted and driven us for all of these years are suddenly cast aside and an entirely new set of principles and motivation is adopted.

     The point is that we die physically powerless. Our bodies are forever broken once we break them. We call this the "allergy" to drugs and alcohol, and by the way, it crosses all lines. There is no, I'm just an alcoholic but I'm not addicted to my wife's benzos or I just love dope but I'm def not a cocaine addict yo... I could do cocaine all day long, son. Oh, okay.

     So we can never safely use again, and guess what? That's a GOOD thing. Knowing we are physically powerless keeps us sober. Also, why would we need to drink or use moderately? Are you missing out on something? If we enlarge our spiritual lives and begin to experience the magic of this new way of life, who gives a shit about missing out on recreational drinking at some dinner party? Personally, I'd much rather have the life I have now and the incredible journey I'm on now more than sailing through the world as some mundane zombie.

    So while physical powerlessness is a permanent condition, mental powerlessness is (potentially) but a temporary condition. That is, one can go from being mentally powerless to regaining mental power (or willpower) over drugs and alcohol. And once that is achieved and maintained, the body of an addict is irrelevant. This is why addressing the physical aspect of addiction is such a useless and ridiculous endeavor, but hey, do whatever you want, I guess.